Fine, Jack. If you can prove to me that you're the hero everyone wants, I'll help you. If instead you prove to be no better than an insufferable and ineffectual arse, which is the more convincing, you'll allow me to avoid you as I please.

[He grabs a skillet, biting back a lecture on hero worship, seeing as how "no one but my best friend (and possibly the commodore) is worthy of it" isn't a valid argument.]