originaljackass | Ch. 4 - People spend their whole lives wishing they were Jack of Fables

[Great thing about New Feather cycles? Lots of pretty new faces, all of them in skimpy sundresses, many of them in need of a strapping hero to get them settled in. Jack has been kind enough to oblige a fair number of them. Not as many as he'd like, as he's been beaten to the punch several times. ~~Hiatuses, go figure.~~]

[Written]

To all the hotties out there, New Feathers or not, I'm Jack of the Tales. I'm in the market for helping out with some odd tasks. A man's got to keep himself busy, right? So lay something on me. As long as it ain't scrubbing toilets, I'm up for it. But just know that my usual line of work is hero business. It's part of why I'm so legendary.

[Some pen taps go here before:] In fact, if anyone's got any suggestions for a more permanent line of work, I'll hear it. [True, Jack is a conman and likes to skirt by doing nothing, but he's been doing that for a month now and it's going to drive him crazy.]

[Answers to his question or not, Jack is going to take a walk around town, with an absentminded dog-sized blue ox following him around. Jack could care less about the company. Aside from stopping in on the stores, he'll be having dinner at Seventh Heaven and later having a beer at Good Spirits. Also, he might be hanging around outside C4 for any new renters that have moved in. Of the female persuasion, of course, but he'll talk to guys too. He just won't care as much.]

((ooc: I suck at hiatus okay, shut up. Tags will come in spurts here and there.))

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This is a hypothetical question, mate: but what if it were a solid gold loo? What then?

[Oh. Didn't you die or something?]

What, the toilet?

[Magically alive once more.]

Yes.

[Jack might have written that in very large, clear, childish print. INSULTINGLY CHILDISH.]

[Well, while Jack is hanging around outside he might just notice another new person arriving back to C4. This one actually moved in about a week ago to room #5 if Jack's been paying any attention.

But sorry, he's most definitely not of the female persuasion. Still, he'll politely nod in greeting to Jack as he's going inside.]

I'll be having one of those at home. With servants to clean it for me.

[Smart enough to realize Sparrow is being a pest. Also the fact that a gold toilet would be pointless here.]

[Hrm, yes. He's noticed you before. Disappointingly male. Also definitely not from the mundy world.]

Hey. One of the new renters, right?

[A gold toilet would be sort of pointless anywhere.]

Right. Of course you would. Hard up for wenches, I see?

Hardly, but you can never have too many friends of the female persuasion.

This? True. You're going to work for them, then?

I suppose a man of your time wouldn't know the implications of a woman asking a good looking man to come over to fix a leaky faucet.

Perhaps not; I'd hold out for more better jobs than THAT, Horner. Wait for the ones what want you to organize their underwear drawer. That sort of thing.

We'd both be waiting a long time for that job to come up, pal.

That? Probably true. You know, you could just drop the hero bit and maraud like a decent ne'er do well.

My outlaw days are a thing of my past, Sparrow. I'm a changed man, a good and honest law abiding citizen. [When it suits him.]

B. O. R. I. N. G.

Spells "Not of interest to the wenches."

Good for me. I prefer a higher class of ladies than wenches and whores.

[Archie is around town when he sees the ox and stops, squinting at it curiously. Well, he's seen a headless horse and giant turtles around, so why not a tiny blue ox? Following Jack Horner?

...Why is it doing that? he wonders.

Well, either way, it's been over a week since Jack saved his life and the man still hasn't bothered him about anything, so he's starting to feel a little like he may have misjudged him. Damn. So he gears himself up and reluctantly approaches him, not quite able to shake the feeling that he's going to regret doing so.]

Wise of you. They'll steal all your valuables, that class of woman.

[It's largely because Jack Horner hasn't found a use for Archie yet. Luceti isn't quite as cut and dry as Golden Boughs and no suitable escape plan has been formulated just yet. Speaking to the sailor might just confirm that he hadn't come up with anything yet. Damn.]

Arch. Up on your feet already? [He figured you, being mundy and all, would still be in bed.]

A hard learned lesson that. [One he's experienced a few times. Not so much anymore. Never let your guard down, even around a beautiful woman who wants to boink you every night.]

A hard lesson indeed. What sorts of permanent work does a non-boring legend go into, then?

[Sorry to disappoint, Jack. But Piers will stop when addressed.]

A strange term when there is no money here to pay rent with. Do you live here then too?

[Renters, occupants, whatever. He's used to living in complexes like this.]

Yeah. I'm in Room 2.

For some time, yes. [Humans are not that delicate, Jack. He just wants to get this over with.] I wanted to thank you for saving my life.

Not sure. I usually don't do that sort of thing. Serve drinks, maybe? Or maybe I could be the guy that does all the flower deliveries.

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Ch. 4 - People spend their whole lives wishing they were Jack of Fables

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