originaljackass | Ch. 1 - There is no plan without Jack of Fables

[Voice]

Hey Kennedy, meet me at Good Spirits. We're going to have a drink.

[Despite his fantastic lack of an intro post, Jack is actually already settled into Luceti, having already been around for over a week now. Having noticed the large quantity of people who walk around with weapons, Jack has already looted the smithy for a pistol and a perfectly preserved Confederate Officer's saber he'd kept since the war. Sure, it had no special powers and would probably shatter if he used his full strength hitting something with it, but damn if he didn't look cool. Hell, he even has his old officer's hat to go with it.

He'll be available at Good Spirits both before and after meeting Kennedy (if indeed the poor sailor shows up) to be poked and prodded. Or if that's not your thing, he'll be taking his time on his way home in spite of the heavy snowfall (which barely bothers him anyway), whistling a forgotten tune, and wondering what a man is to do in a moneyless economy when his greatest ambition is having lots of money. Which he already had in the real world.]

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[Oh, this is not the way he was hoping things would go today. See, Kennedy is not so old-fashioned that he'll put honor before good sense, and it seems like good sense to stay away from Jack.]

I'll tell you right now they don't know how to make Scotch whiskey. It's not worth your time or mine.

So I'll make it for you. I've been mixing drinks longer than any of the poor bastards working here.

[And he means that quite literally. Except the bastard part. Although that could potentially be true too.]

You can make whiskey in the time it takes me to walk from my quarters to Good Spirits?

[It's more or less a rhetorical question. He does not sound the least bit convinced.]

No, but I can work out where they keep the good stuff. The best bartenders always hide their best stuff. I've got a nose for these kinds of things.

[There's a heavy sigh. Apparently the choice between unsavory company and the remote possibility of a taste of home is harder than he'd anticipated. However, he's at a loss when he tries to think about what else can be done to him, so...]

Fine. I'll be there in a moment.

[ oh hell maybe she can turn around and look really really busy by this rack-o-wine bottles. dusting them or something. or turning them so their labels are all aligned. j-just avoid eye contact. ]

Now we're talking. Dress warm, Kenny.

[Jack will go and see if he can't actually find this so-called 'good stuff' he was talking about.]

[Kenny? Really?

Well, Archie shows up after a few minutes, stamping snow off his boots. He's found his clothes and a pistol and sword in the time since he's been here. He gives his acquaintance a nod just deep enough to be polite.]

Jack.

[Well then, aren't they a match? Now if only Jack had dressed in his officer's clothes as well. At least he has his hat.]

Afternoon. [He reaches to the ground and pulls up a bottle.] Might be a bit buzzed already. [He lifts his glass.] Sampled every damn bottle of scotch here already. This one's the best.

Buffy! [He'd remember that fine ass you're showing him anywhere.] You never told me you worked here.

We'll see about that. [Kennedy picks up a glass and pours himself a mouthful. He raises it, sniffs, and does not look encouraged. After a glance at Jack, he drinks. The verdict?]

It's not quite right, but it's as close as they've come. [He puts the glass down with a little more violence than necessary and pours himself a full drink.]

[ her fingers tighten around the neck of a bottle. ]

Gee, I wonder why I did a thing like that?

[ turning -- eyebrows up. ]

Figures they can't get anything right. [But he didn't invite you over to talk about the quality of the drink.]

Pal, I'm in a rut. A real shitter of a rut.

Couldn't say. We got along so well before. Now, how about a martini?

[Archie swallows a mouthful quickly, and most definitely not from surprise.]

Of course. Now we're getting to what you want.

[He swirls the whiskey in his glass idly.]

[He just keeps talking anyway as he nurses his glass.]

I've always had one ambition. To be young, handsome, and rich. Before I was dropped here, I managed to get all three. Now I'm stuck here. What's my ambition, Kenny? There's no money to make, no call for Grade A heroics, and I haven't been laid in a week. I'm also getting the feeling maybe I'm not too popular with the locals.

[Imagine that, huh?]

Don't call me Kenny, Jack.

[He puts off saying what he thinks of Jack's "real shitter of a rut" until he thinks the man is finished talking. Which may or may not happen at all.]

Well, you could give me your first name.

[Cuz he sure as hell knows it's not that.]

Or you could finish carrying on about the sorry state your life is in. They didn't bring me here to wait on you hand and foot.

Don't be sour, pal. I'm not calling any favors in just yet.

[He suddenly stands up.]

I've been thinking it's time Jack reinvents himself! Smooth, suave, princely - yeah, I was a prince once - the whole nine yards. Wouldn't be too far off my Hollywood days, but maybe lay off the ruthless businessman aspect. And unlike my 'old man', I'll make sure I get this shit right. What do you think?

I'd like you to go back a bit and tell me about being a prince.

[Because, heh, this has gotta be good.]

I won the title in a lottery on a lark. But then I got into some uh... legal issues, so I sold it back.

[And then he found out the person who sold it, Prince Charming, was actually his father. So technically he's bastard royalty. And since his old man recently died, maybe that makes him a Prince again?]

[Archie chuckles into his glass. Legal issues.]

I'd say.

Being Prince Jack was overrated. Though if I play my cards right, I could reclaim that title again, seeing as how the owner of it just croaked.

[For as much as he takes after his womanizing bastard of his father, he sure does hate him. Mostly for never telling Jack, "These are your half-sisters. Don't sleep with them."]

So if being Prince Jack is overrated, why are you suddenly so keen to reinvent yourself in his image?

[He picks up the bottle and holds it out, silently offering to top Jack off.]

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Ch. 1 - There is no plan without Jack of Fables

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