originaljackass | Ch. 4 - People spend their whole lives wishing they were Jack of Fables

[Great thing about New Feather cycles? Lots of pretty new faces, all of them in skimpy sundresses, many of them in need of a strapping hero to get them settled in. Jack has been kind enough to oblige a fair number of them. Not as many as he'd like, as he's been beaten to the punch several times. ~~Hiatuses, go figure.~~]

[Written]

To all the hotties out there, New Feathers or not, I'm Jack of the Tales. I'm in the market for helping out with some odd tasks. A man's got to keep himself busy, right? So lay something on me. As long as it ain't scrubbing toilets, I'm up for it. But just know that my usual line of work is hero business. It's part of why I'm so legendary.

[Some pen taps go here before:] In fact, if anyone's got any suggestions for a more permanent line of work, I'll hear it. [True, Jack is a conman and likes to skirt by doing nothing, but he's been doing that for a month now and it's going to drive him crazy.]

[Answers to his question or not, Jack is going to take a walk around town, with an absentminded dog-sized blue ox following him around. Jack could care less about the company. Aside from stopping in on the stores, he'll be having dinner at Seventh Heaven and later having a beer at Good Spirits. Also, he might be hanging around outside C4 for any new renters that have moved in. Of the female persuasion, of course, but he'll talk to guys too. He just won't care as much.]

((ooc: I suck at hiatus okay, shut up. Tags will come in spurts here and there.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nope, they were pretty much idiots.

Such a shame with brains that big.

The bigger the brains, the longer it takes for them to think their giant thoughts. [Well no, he's pretty sure biology doesn't work that way.]

Oh, is that how it works? [Amused playful grin, like she really doesn't know.]

In the end, the bigger they are, the less reason they have to be clever.

That makes sense.

A little.

Seeing as germs and amoeba aren't too clever. Although you never can tell with those slime molds. [Forever teasing him.]

Not all germs, but they can kill creatures thousands of times bigger than 'em. That's gotta take some smarts there.

Not when you consider the sheer number of how many that exist and can't succeed. It's just a matter of luck and percentages. Someone always has to win the lottery, but that doesn't mean with all the other participants that it's the best bet.

In the end, some of us are just winners

I suppose. [Guarded look, glancing away.]

[Hm. He tilts his head, studying her reaction. Struck a nerve, maybe?]

You know, I didn't give you much of a good time when we were 'together', did I?

[A quiet laugh.]

Hard to do when you think it's all already been done before, hm, sweetie?

But we both know better, don't we? So how about we do dinner, sometime. I won't ask for anymore than a good night kiss.

[A small laugh.]

All right, I'd like that Jack.

Great. I'll pick you up sometime.

Mm? All right, but you might not want to surprise me~ Never know if I'll acutally be at home.

Don't worry about that. I'll make sure it'll be a time I can catch you.

Ah -- not to sound paranoid, but let's just say I have an ex who delighted in dropping in completely unexpected.

Don't do that unless you like tripping traps.

You make it sound like a challenge.

Do I? It's meant to be a warning. Lupin rather liked bypassing as many traps as he could, so it forced me to get rather ... creative.

Well I do try to avoid blood loss on the first date...

That would be best. It's hard to get out of the carpets.

Believe me, I know. My apartment got covered in it once.

What? Why??

Let's just say my ex was "murdered" and left a "real" mess.

[Yeah, the way he says that makes it obvious that's not even close to the full or real story.]

[voice]

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