Ch. 6 - Scales and wings are such a drag for Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Jack is getting restless now. It's been nearly a month since he was turned into this big hulking beast and frankly? It's getting pretty damn old. Each day he has to roll in his gold a little longer to make himself feel better and he's less and less inclined to leave his gold behind. That damn pirate is going to try and find it, he just knows it. Still, hunger is hunger and he's getting sick of deer, bears, cows, and sheep. The farm animals are the easiest to get, but he's noticed he's been... thinning the herd a bit. He can't live off them forever. As for hunting? It's a pain in the ass.

Well, if he's going to be stuck like this, like hell he's going to just hide. So retreating from his cave, he'll be flying towards town. He'll stop just behind the grocery store and land there. Seeing as he's too big to get in... he'll just bust a hole in the roof and start grabbing stuff that way. Good thing these buildings auto-repair and the food restocks itself, because he won't be leaving much of a store behind by the time he's done.]

((ooc: Feel free to catch him at the store or prowling around the mountains. But not so much his secret treasure horde... not yet!))

Comments

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[H-Hey that's her food......

Okay no, but she will be watching him as he feeds from outside the store. Just in case something wrong might happen from within. Doesn't help that she has no idea that its Jack.]

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

[Nope, he's pretty much gonna take his time emptying the store of its wares. This shit is great.]

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[......Okay this furthers some investigation. She's pretty sure normal dragons don't eat the things he's likely swallowing down whole. And there might be people in there that he might accidentally eat up too.]

Dragon, please calm yourself.

[She calls out strongly to the dragon, not intimidated at all by his size.]

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

[... seriously, Saber. SERIOUSLY? He's just trying to eat the dairy section and now you're giving me lip.]

Okay, look, my table manners are a little bad now, but maybe you could cut me some slack here.

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[Hey man you need to share. SHARING IS CARING.

The voice that comes out is fairly familiar. Too much for comfort. It doesn't take Saber too long to connect the dots from the attitude either.]

J...Jack? Jack Horner?

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

In the flesh.... scales, whatever.

[Don't mind him as he ducks his head out of the building for a second to spit out some empty milk jugs to the side. Food containers are the worst. THE WORST.]

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[This is...confusing.]

I did not realize you could become a dragon.

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

Yeah, neither did I. The trick is figuring out how to turn back.

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

Was this the work of the Malnosso, or a spell by someone in the village?

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

How the hell should I know? One minute I'm a guy, the next I'm a dragon. If someone used magic on me, I'll kick their ass.

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[She thinks for a moment. It's a bit doubtful in her mind that he wouldn't notice magic being at work, so a spell likely isn't the cause.]

Were you by any chance kidnapped by them? This could be the result of experimentation.

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

No kidnappings here. You want the full story? One minute I'm a family man, then I start bloating up like a beached whale, then suddenly I'm this. [He leaves out the bit about all the gold, because he doesn't want people finding his horde.]

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

How bizarre. [She furrows her brow, trying to think of any possible situations.] ...Back in my land there were magical enchantments that could turn men into beasts, without them even realizing why. It could be put into food or drink and have no taste. I wonder if someone may have poisoned you into this form.

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

... well, Buffy's cooking was pretty shitty.

[And Archie gave him vodka at that family dinner. That son of a bitch...]

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

Language. [Not that she expects him to listen. Huff.] I do not know of anyone named Buffy, but do you think she would do something like that? And don't rush to conclusions.

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

Hell if I know. She'll probably be pissed about that whole sleeping with her during the last experiment thing.

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

...Experiment? Do you mean the one where we changed species?

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

What? No! The hell is wrong with you? The one where everyone was brainwashed into being family. I was Buffy's hubbie.

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[She grits her teeth.] ...I wasn't present for that experiment. I haven't even heard of it until now.

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

It was a real doozie. I bet a lot of people were pissed about it. [Jack had... bigger concerns. But even otherwise he wouldn't have cared much.]

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

I feel that you may be underplaying the effect it had in the aftermath, but I won't bother asking more about it. [She wasn't present, so there really isn't much she can say about it.] Regardless, if there is anything I can do to help you remedy this situation I will be glad to be of service.

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

Meh... alright, you're hired. I've been thinking about it and a lot of shit happens to me on account of me getting sucked into being the titular 'character' of all these stories. I had Excalibur stuck in me this one time, on account of becoming the "Stone" for the sword. It's a side effect of being so mega popular.

[He flashes a cocky grin at that, then remembers his point.]

Anyway, maybe this is one of those things. I'm a dragon cuz of some damn story. So you just gotta find out how the story ends and bam! I'm back to my good looking self.

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[Excalibur...she almost says something, but bites her tongue on this situation. He already knew quite a bit about her anyway.]

I see. So if I can research the stories you are featured in, they may have an explanation and a cure for your transformation, if they are the cause. [She nods.] How unfortunate that you are stuck in a situation because of a mere story about you.

[dragonjack.livejournal.com]

No no, I ain't in any stories where I become a dragon. Believe me, I'd know, seeing as they're about me. It's gotta be someone else's story. Gotta be. Something I did is related, somehow. [Or not. The Sword and the Stone thing... not much correlation there.]

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

Then, do you know of any other stories in which you appear, but are not the central character? [Because going through every old tale and fable that ever existed for a mention of him could take a very long time.]