[That's all some pretty harsh guidelines. He cannot imagine himself doing any of those things, but by the same token, he doesn't want to just give up on it. So now he just has to think of something to pick out for her that would work. Something that seems like he's taking seriously, but that she'd never go for. Hm.]

Fine. But you gotta do the opposite. You go a month not trying to be Miss Perfect all the time. Say what you want, do what you can to get whatever you want, and don't lift a finger to help anyone. Also, no being all high and mighty like you're the expert on right and wrong. If you think someone is doing something wrong? You gotta keep it to yourself. And don't be afraid to flirt a little. Maybe indulge in some vulgar humor.