originaljackass | Ch. 1 - There is no plan without Jack of Fables

[Voice]

Hey Kennedy, meet me at Good Spirits. We're going to have a drink.

[Despite his fantastic lack of an intro post, Jack is actually already settled into Luceti, having already been around for over a week now. Having noticed the large quantity of people who walk around with weapons, Jack has already looted the smithy for a pistol and a perfectly preserved Confederate Officer's saber he'd kept since the war. Sure, it had no special powers and would probably shatter if he used his full strength hitting something with it, but damn if he didn't look cool. Hell, he even has his old officer's hat to go with it.

He'll be available at Good Spirits both before and after meeting Kennedy (if indeed the poor sailor shows up) to be poked and prodded. Or if that's not your thing, he'll be taking his time on his way home in spite of the heavy snowfall (which barely bothers him anyway), whistling a forgotten tune, and wondering what a man is to do in a moneyless economy when his greatest ambition is having lots of money. Which he already had in the real world.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh. So you're an actor. That explains it.

[ what. she lived in la. ]

No. I was the producer. The movies were just about me.

[If Fabletown had caught his mug in the first Jack movie, they'd have busted his ass before the second could be in preproduction.]

You produced a movie about yourself. Well, I guess that's the final clue to the wow you're a major ego trip epiphany.

Three movies. All of them the biggest blockbusters of all time. But when you've got quality material straight from the source, what do you expect?

{Except the third movie was entirely made up from Jack's head and was all wish fulfillment fantasy. Go figure.]

Bigger than Titanic?

Way bigger.

So who played you?

Not important. [~~There's no canon for it.~~]

All that's important is that he was the latest heart=throb, right?

[ sob canon. ]

Exactly. He had to have the looks, charisma, and appeal to play me. Of course, no mundy is that good, but we did the best with what was available.

Next you'll tell me you're also a multi-millionaire.

Billion. Possible trillion. I have a lot of gold to cash in.

So I guess you're the proof that money can't buy manners.

You should have seen me in Hollywood, Buffy. I was very high class. Impeccable manners. [And absolutely, utterly ruthless.]

Edited 2011-01-13 22:49 (UTC)

So what changed you into this?

I was ripped off by some people back home. And then kidnapped. [A pause.] Not Luceti. That comes later.

Was that time also involving evil scientists?

That was the librarians from hell.

...Hell librarians?

I don't like talking about it. [A first.]

[ surprised, she backs down. ]

Fine. Subject change is a go. Settling in okay?

I've got my own place. I make most of my own meals. Still haven't qute solved the problem of spending my time, but I've avoided having too many crippling injuries.

Get a job. I did.

Finding a job for me would be a long shot. I do big things and this is a pretty small town for that. [Not that he's unused to physical labor. He did grunt labor for weeks before landing himself in the Snow Queen's bed. But his major source of income is living from one scam to another.]

Fine. Waste away from boredom -- see if I care.

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[ action ] is this your love sonnet for me because so far i'm unimpressed.

[ action ] this is where I do the Dr. Cox musical rant

[ action ] and i am so charmed i faint?

[ action ] and i am so charmed i faint?

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