Jack Horner (
originaljackass) wrote2011-04-29 11:59 am
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Ch. 5 - The introduction of a very draconian Jack of Fables
[So, the experiment was over. Jack spent an entire day rolling in his gold thinking about it. It was pretty ridiculous. Him? A family man? Raising a kid? It's a wonder he even believed that bullshit. The great Jack Horner was too awesome and cool to be saddled by any woman and he never went around leaving bastard children around. Except that one time, but that was a fluke. He certainly didn't stick around for eighteen some years raising them, that's for sure.
Not that this was at the forefront of his concerns, as he stared gloomily in the river. The reflection of that crocodile grinned beast did little to improve his mood. It was what? Two days ago, he reckons. He was about the size of a walrus, but his lust for wealth was enough to drive him from consuming all the food he could. He managed to steal Sparrow's half of the loot and then turned his so-called brother in for the loot. The more he thought about that, the more convinced he was that not feeling remotely remorseful for it was the right way to go. After all, if he hadn't done it, Sparrow would have. That's how the game was played.
The hike up the mountain had been one that compelled him, almost as strong as the Shift that made him think he was a father. Like some sort of destiny or compulsion or something. He just HAD to find a cave. Somewhere to make sure his loot would be never found. But the moment he spilled the contents, there was more gold than he ever had suspected he collected. Maybe more than had even existed in that dream land. Was it the gold he stole from El Dorado, finally in Luceti? Well, if it was, that would be comforting at least. And he did feel a lot better when he rolled around in it, buried his face under the gold, and had a long dragon nap.
Eventually hunger had won out over greed, leading him to where is now. He'd tried his hand hunting in the forest, but nothing about a twenty ton dragon was subtle and when he tried to chase animals in the woods, he kept tripping over trees and generally being fairly useless. Eventually his eyes settled on the farmlands left over and he realized he had a feast all corralled in one convenient fence. Big, meaty cows. Even though one would last him for a day, he gobbled down three before he was satisfied. Because he hadn't quite got a handle on this flying business yet, he was taking the long way back to his cave, following the river upstream. But his reflection was really distraction.
Damn. How is he going to score with chicks looking like this?]
(tl;dr version - Jack the Dragon can be found prowling the woods and failing at hunting, up in the farmlands, or north of the village along the river. He's a fairly large dragon. Here's a pic for comparison. He can eat a cow in one mouthful, if that tells you anything. Also, tags will come from
dragonjack until... whenever he's human again.)
Not that this was at the forefront of his concerns, as he stared gloomily in the river. The reflection of that crocodile grinned beast did little to improve his mood. It was what? Two days ago, he reckons. He was about the size of a walrus, but his lust for wealth was enough to drive him from consuming all the food he could. He managed to steal Sparrow's half of the loot and then turned his so-called brother in for the loot. The more he thought about that, the more convinced he was that not feeling remotely remorseful for it was the right way to go. After all, if he hadn't done it, Sparrow would have. That's how the game was played.
The hike up the mountain had been one that compelled him, almost as strong as the Shift that made him think he was a father. Like some sort of destiny or compulsion or something. He just HAD to find a cave. Somewhere to make sure his loot would be never found. But the moment he spilled the contents, there was more gold than he ever had suspected he collected. Maybe more than had even existed in that dream land. Was it the gold he stole from El Dorado, finally in Luceti? Well, if it was, that would be comforting at least. And he did feel a lot better when he rolled around in it, buried his face under the gold, and had a long dragon nap.
Eventually hunger had won out over greed, leading him to where is now. He'd tried his hand hunting in the forest, but nothing about a twenty ton dragon was subtle and when he tried to chase animals in the woods, he kept tripping over trees and generally being fairly useless. Eventually his eyes settled on the farmlands left over and he realized he had a feast all corralled in one convenient fence. Big, meaty cows. Even though one would last him for a day, he gobbled down three before he was satisfied. Because he hadn't quite got a handle on this flying business yet, he was taking the long way back to his cave, following the river upstream. But his reflection was really distraction.
Damn. How is he going to score with chicks looking like this?]
(tl;dr version - Jack the Dragon can be found prowling the woods and failing at hunting, up in the farmlands, or north of the village along the river. He's a fairly large dragon. Here's a pic for comparison. He can eat a cow in one mouthful, if that tells you anything. Also, tags will come from
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[Cue Jack stomping by to catching it, getting wedged between two trees, and having to claw his way out from between them. Argh!]
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M-Mister Jack?
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Oh. It's you.
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Yeah, it's me. I brought your blue... thing.
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Where is he? [He's practically salivating. That blue ox would only be a morsel, but dammit he's starving.]
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[Jack just stands still as the deer flashes past him. There's no use running, really.]
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[He stalks forward, at first not even noticing Sparrow. Although presently he becomes aware of him. Well. This is awkward.]
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Hullo, dragon.
[Since Jack was in PRISON for the transformation? He has no idea this is Horner. Yet.]
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What do you want, Sparrow? Want to gloat?
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May I compliment you on your keywords?
You may. .....IT'S A SWEATER! WHAT CAN I SAY OF SUCH MEN?!
My men, my compadres... what we have done, we have done together!
Jefe....would you say I have a plethora of pinatas? 1/?
2/?
3/?
4/done
El Guapo only kills men. He does not kill crying women!
/can't think of any more.........MY LITTLE BUTTERCUP HAS THE SWEETEST SMIIIILE
...smile? Smile!
How can you tell if it's a mail plane?
Tell us, we *will* die like dogs.
......You will die like dogs?
NO! We will fight like lions!
There you go! You can SEW! :D
I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda.
The lips would be FINE....
Sew, very old one! Sew like the wind!
Together we pundered! And pruned...the hedges...of many small villages. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!
Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.
oiehoile I typed "pundered" instead of "plundered." WHEREVER THERE IS HATRED, WE'LL BE THERE!
(Gavin would be proud.) WHEREVER LIBERTY IS THREATENED, YOU WILL FIND...
{Is that a good thing, though} THE THREE AMIGOS!
/TOO LAZY TO LOOK UP MORE QUOTES
YOU WERE LOOKING THEM UP? MEMORY, BABY. MEMORY.
Only to make sure I quoted them word for word. /perfectionist
/imperfectionist
1/2
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You're kinda hard to miss, Jack. Especially when she's just ventured out from her orchard to have a closer look at the farmland. At least she's not in amongst the cows when you land. 8|
No, she was just leaning against the fence and wryly imagining how long they'll get to live once Luffy comes back from his 'napping. Now, she thinks they might have a bigger problem. And you're a hefty reminder of something she'd forgotten up until a few days ago.
Letting go of the fence and backing away, now.]
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Hey there. How you doing?
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[Oh and he robbed you blind.]
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[Just keeps wandering. Okay, MAYBE a big long giant pause to take in the size. Wow. You're a very big dragon Jack. And the only dragon(s) Fujiko has seen before were only about half that.]
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Hey there Fujiko. You're looking sexy today. [From this height he can easily see straaaaaight down her cleavage.]
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I dressed up extra nice for you today~ [Or just grabbed whatever was clean and convenient. Same thing.] Such a good thing I ran into you, hm~? [Whoever you are that is.]
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You? [Aside from the fact that the forest can probably hold a dragon better and this is probably his home.]
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[He turns his great head towards the farmlands.]
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