originaljackass: (Bang you're dead)
Jack Horner ([personal profile] originaljackass) wrote2011-07-07 08:33 pm

Ch. 8 - The Death and Return of Jack of Fables


[The moment Jack woke up, somewhere out in the woods, his eyes shot open and he reached for his chest, expecting to find a sword sticking out of it. But there wasn't one. More than that, he could see that his fingers... well, he had fingers. No claws. He felt his face and the familiar stubble was there, as was his long hair, and he quickly determined he had a chest and a feet and his Happy Stick is there and not... scaly.

Whew. Load off his mind. It also proves that people really DO revive in Luceti. But he also knows that people LOSE things when they die. The first thing he does is find something sharp enough to cut himself on. He's pleased to see it quickly heal up, nearly instantly, as if the wound had never been there at all. He then finds a boulder and throws it, proving he is indeed super strong still. So he had his looks and power again... but what about his loot? He'd have to go back to the cave later and see if those bastards that killed him hadn't stolen it all.

... thought he wasn't sure if he should bother. Last thing he wanted to do was risk dragon-ing it up again.

So he takes a long, lonely hike to the village and returns home. He grabs a nice button up shirt, a black sports coat and slacks to toss on. So he'd died twice now. Neither time took. And he was looking as good as ever. Now just as long as he didn't turn into a dragon again, he was A-OK.

So the first thing he does is go to the journals.]


[Voice]

Looks like I'm back to the land of the living and I ain't a dragon anymore. How is it that death is the cure for so many afflictions? First order of business - any women out there wanting a roll in the hay? It's been months since I had any. We can make it as romantic as you like, suits me just fine.

Oh. Guess I owe an apology towards certain individuals for any injuries I may have caused during that scuffle. But in my defense? You guys killed me. So don't expect me to feel too guilty about that.

Thirdly... thirdly... I need some cigarettes and a beer. And some painkillers. I also think I've got on hell of a case of phantom limb going here after losing those extra wings... and the tail.

Oh yeah, anyone seen a tiny blue cow running around? I lost track of the thing a few weeks ago.

[Yeah, screw the journal, he's going to the bar to smoke and drink. If he can't have some sex, this will just have to do.]

action;

[identity profile] heroicarturia.livejournal.com 2011-07-09 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
Money is useless in this land anyway. I doubt they would be so kind as to take you back home with your gold in tow.
herotypical: (} ministers of government)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
...Who did it?

[ this after a long pause. ]
herotypical: (} you eat the bivalve anyway)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
Figures, it'd be a her.

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[identity profile] heroicarturia.livejournal.com 2011-07-09 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
[Dying, losing your gold - life is so cruel.]

I'm glad to see you have your priorities in line.
herotypical: (} where's my lover -- where's the bar?)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
What? Puh-lease. Out of all the possible Jacks I could bother to get jealous over, you are at the very bottom of that list.
herotypical: (} i never want to do that stuff)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Except next breath you'll be telling me how you supposedly met the guy. And that's exactly the kind of BS that makes my protesting out to be just enough.

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[identity profile] heroicarturia.livejournal.com 2011-07-09 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
[She pauses at what he says and decides to sit up in her bed again. Her head turns to face him, giving him somewhat of a stern look.]

I expected no less. There is a reason why I was granted the wind barrier to make my sword invisible, after all.

[After all, such a famous sword is very easy for anyone to recognize if they see it to a close extent in the open.]

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[identity profile] heroicarturia.livejournal.com 2011-07-09 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
How would you think I could manage to get it? I pulled it out of the stone, naturally.

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[identity profile] heroicarturia.livejournal.com 2011-07-09 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
Ah...no. It was simply an enchanted stone slab, which no one could pull the sword from unless they were deemed the true heir to the kingdom.
herotypical: (} and they checked my pulse)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
Then you got to miss out on those funny puffy Medieval shorts. Good for you.

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[identity profile] heroicarturia.livejournal.com 2011-07-09 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Not a replacement. ...I am Arthur. Or rather Arturia. It is a complicated story.

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[identity profile] heroicarturia.livejournal.com 2011-07-09 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
[Oh god. She is actually...going to put a palm to her face.]

No Jack. Wipe your indecent thoughts - I was born a woman and I have always been a woman. As I said, it is complicated.

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