Ch. 8 - The Death and Return of Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[The moment Jack woke up, somewhere out in the woods, his eyes shot open and he reached for his chest, expecting to find a sword sticking out of it. But there wasn't one. More than that, he could see that his fingers... well, he had fingers. No claws. He felt his face and the familiar stubble was there, as was his long hair, and he quickly determined he had a chest and a feet and his Happy Stick is there and not... scaly.

Whew. Load off his mind. It also proves that people really DO revive in Luceti. But he also knows that people LOSE things when they die. The first thing he does is find something sharp enough to cut himself on. He's pleased to see it quickly heal up, nearly instantly, as if the wound had never been there at all. He then finds a boulder and throws it, proving he is indeed super strong still. So he had his looks and power again... but what about his loot? He'd have to go back to the cave later and see if those bastards that killed him hadn't stolen it all.

... thought he wasn't sure if he should bother. Last thing he wanted to do was risk dragon-ing it up again.

So he takes a long, lonely hike to the village and returns home. He grabs a nice button up shirt, a black sports coat and slacks to toss on. So he'd died twice now. Neither time took. And he was looking as good as ever. Now just as long as he didn't turn into a dragon again, he was A-OK.

So the first thing he does is go to the journals.]

[Voice]

Looks like I'm back to the land of the living and I ain't a dragon anymore. How is it that death is the cure for so many afflictions? First order of business - any women out there wanting a roll in the hay? It's been months since I had any. We can make it as romantic as you like, suits me just fine.

Oh. Guess I owe an apology towards certain individuals for any injuries I may have caused during that scuffle. But in my defense? You guys killed me. So don't expect me to feel too guilty about that.

Thirdly... thirdly... I need some cigarettes and a beer. And some painkillers. I also think I've got on hell of a case of phantom limb going here after losing those extra wings... and the tail.

Oh yeah, anyone seen a tiny blue cow running around? I lost track of the thing a few weeks ago.

[Yeah, screw the journal, he's going to the bar to smoke and drink. If he can't have some sex, this will just have to do.]

Comments

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[herotypical]

[ and guess who makes this face when he walks into the bar? ]

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[originaljackass]

[He just died, woman. Looks like that don't even faze him. He'll grab a stool, the one right in front of her, and flash a smirk.]

Hey there, pumpkin. How about a Budweiser?

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[herotypical]

[ wordlessly, she cracks open a icy beer and passes it over to him.

and she stares a bit more. she's always curious and interested in those who come back from the dead, but doesn't know how to broach the topic with horner of all people. ]

Don't call me pumpkin.

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[originaljackass]

[He ignores that, being too interested in the beer. He takes one loooong hard drink of it and slams the glass back down, nearly halfway empty.]

Good god did I need one of those. Holy shit, that's good. [He stares at the glass a little longer, before going for another, smaller sip. There's nothing like a cold one after two months of being a dragon and dying. Speaking of which.]

You catch my message earlier? About the dying thing?

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[herotypical]

I did. I did catch it.

[ she wipes down a further section of the bar. ] Sorry to hear about that.

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[originaljackass]

Don't be.

[He sets his elbow on the bar and holds up his hand in front of him, then wiggles his fingers.]

See? Fingers. I died, came back, and I've got fingers again. Not a bad deal, if you ask me.

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

...Sounds like you're back to yourself. [Considering her involvement in the scuffle she didn't feel particularly guilty about anything--but the fact that it ended up with Jack dead still didn't sit well.] Mixed up orders and all.

[originaljackass]

Seems like it. That's gotta be the easiest kind of revival I've went through. Didn't even see the afterlife this time.

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

...That makes me wonder if you were seeing any bright lights in tunnels when we met, Jack. But you're really okay? Don't they take something?

[originaljackass]

[He's suddenly not sure what she's saying. Bright lights?]

Maybe. I haven't noticed anything yet, so it can't be too important.

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

[Someone brilliantly pulled a Humpty-Dumpty and looked like he was dead for a few seconds when they met. (http://gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com/15367.html?thread=2080263#t2080263) Bright lights at tunnels' ends.]

...I guess that's true. Not as important as the stuff you'd notice right away. Well, I'm glad. Being a dragon really made you weird, so it's good you're back to normal. [At least she doesn't think he would have been trying to roast them normally--she would have gotten the account from Saber and Karai so there might be some bias there.] ...Was there any other way to fix it?

[originaljackass]

[... ah, well. He doesn't answer right away.]

... Saber seemed to think so. Like making me give up the gold.

voice;

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

Welcome back.

[Says the girl from what looks like a hospital bed. She's been in the clinic since last week, after that messy fight with him no less.]

voice;

[originaljackass]

Thanks. Looks like you've seen better days.

[Huh, looks like he really did a number on her.]

voice;

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

[Not as much of a number as she did on him.]

I'll be out in a couple days. I wish I could see you in person, but I have been advised not to walk around much.

voice;

[originaljackass]

[And yet he's just fine!]

Huh. Guess I could swing by for a visit. [He probably ought to feel bad she's in a state like that. Especially since she appears to be so young. Yet at the same time... yeah, she did kill him.]

voice;

[heroicarturia.livejournal.com]

If you want, I would be happy to see you. [Especially because it feels like forever since she saw him as a fleshy person and not a dragon.]

voice;

[originaljackass]

[He's sort of expecting another sword in the chest if he goes to see her. Maybe he should bring some heat.]

Yeah, sure. Why not? They got you up in the clinic or over in the dome?

[honorbeforeall.livejournal.com]

[Psh, like she'd welcome him back. Instead:]

I am glad to see that death worked, in this case.

[originaljackass]

Dying seems to fix a lot of things here, don't it?

[honorbeforeall.livejournal.com]

It is hardly a solution unique to Luceti. The fact that people revive here is just as much a nuisance as it is a cure.

You prefer being human, I assume.

[originaljackass]

[Not much of a solution for the person getting killed.]

Wouldn't you?

[honorbeforeall.livejournal.com]

[Karai doesn't care about solutions for other people!]

Of course.

...

Have they taken anything from you? [The Malnosso, that is.]

[Voice]

[histruename.livejournal.com]

You're that dragon? God damn.

[Voice]

[originaljackass]

And you're that random devil dude that showed up. What the hell was that all about?