originaljackass | Ch. 8 - The Death and Return of Jack of Fables

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Ch. 8 - The Death and Return of Jack of Fables

[The moment Jack woke up, somewhere out in the woods, his eyes shot open and he reached for his chest, expecting to find a sword sticking out of it. But there wasn't one. More than that, he could see that his fingers... well, he had fingers. No claws. He felt his face and the familiar stubble was there, as was his long hair, and he quickly determined he had a chest and a feet and his Happy Stick is there and not... scaly.

Whew. Load off his mind. It also proves that people really DO revive in Luceti. But he also knows that people LOSE things when they die. The first thing he does is find something sharp enough to cut himself on. He's pleased to see it quickly heal up, nearly instantly, as if the wound had never been there at all. He then finds a boulder and throws it, proving he is indeed super strong still. So he had his looks and power again... but what about his loot? He'd have to go back to the cave later and see if those bastards that killed him hadn't stolen it all.

... thought he wasn't sure if he should bother. Last thing he wanted to do was risk dragon-ing it up again.

So he takes a long, lonely hike to the village and returns home. He grabs a nice button up shirt, a black sports coat and slacks to toss on. So he'd died twice now. Neither time took. And he was looking as good as ever. Now just as long as he didn't turn into a dragon again, he was A-OK.

So the first thing he does is go to the journals.]

[Voice]

Looks like I'm back to the land of the living and I ain't a dragon anymore. How is it that death is the cure for so many afflictions? First order of business - any women out there wanting a roll in the hay? It's been months since I had any. We can make it as romantic as you like, suits me just fine.

Oh. Guess I owe an apology towards certain individuals for any injuries I may have caused during that scuffle. But in my defense? You guys killed me. So don't expect me to feel too guilty about that.

Thirdly... thirdly... I need some cigarettes and a beer. And some painkillers. I also think I've got on hell of a case of phantom limb going here after losing those extra wings... and the tail.

Oh yeah, anyone seen a tiny blue cow running around? I lost track of the thing a few weeks ago.

[Yeah, screw the journal, he's going to the bar to smoke and drink. If he can't have some sex, this will just have to do.]

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[He pops open the box. It's way too much for even a grown man to put away himself.]

I'll give it a try, but my stomach's a lot smaller now.

[She smiles, though it's a rather sad one, and nods.]

Don't push yourself too hard, Jack. Overeating isn't smart.

[Says the one who probably eats enough food to feed a family of four.]

I think a full stomach is the least of my troubles. [He leans forward, ignoring the subs for now.]

So let's cut to the chase. Why am I here?

...I wanted to see that you were alright. That you were...actually alive.

And you're actually just that concerned, despite the part where I tried to torch you?

Believe what you want...my intention was never to kill you Jack. [That was simply what it came down to. And it was not something she wanted to do at all.]

Hmph.

[He leans back again, not entirely satisfied, but willing to buy this for now.]

So that's it, then.

...I'm sorry. I don't what else I could say, but I'm sorry.

[And she's apologizing. He wonders if she should let her. If he was a better man, he'd probably stop her. But he isn't.]

I ain't looking for anything special. It's not the first time I've died. If you want to put it behind us, then consider it behind us.

But--

[She stopped before she continued. No, she can't put it behind that simply. Not after promising him he would returned to normal safely.]

...I didn't even expect that you would want to come and see me.

Shit... you actually feel bad about it, don't you? [He groans, then pinches the bridge of his nose.]

Look, dying sucked. Not gonna lie. Being a dragon sucked. Thanks to this place, I'm back to my old self.So as far as all that goes? I'm good. [He takes his sub and takes a bite. Oh yeah.]

Is it so unnatural to feel guilt over killing someone you promised to help.

[She looks down and nods.]

I suppose...I can be glad you are back to normal.

[You know, there's not a lot of people he knows who would be so determined to help him. Even after being a bastard like that. Usually that's enough to make people wise up to him.]

There you go. Silver lining.

[A sigh.] Ever the optimist. [She lays back down on the bed and closes her eyes.] However, I must say I did expect the added company. I only asked Karai to come along with me formally.

I guess I just attract a crowd, then.

[...It's quite honestly going to take a while to gain a sense of normality with the man she killed, even if he seems to find it as no big deal.]

It seems so. I never intended it to be such a large affair, but you were quite insistent about that gold.

[At least he's not being cold and indifferent like Lightning!]

Speaking of which, is it still up there?

No, not anymore. It was destroyed. [And even if it was still up there, she wouldn't let him get to it. No need to go through that whole dragon fighting episode again.]

Damn! That gold was going to set me for life! [He mutters a few curses under his breath and slouches.]

I better have all that gold when I get back home. That's my whole future right there. [...so he can go through being a dragon all over again, without the happy ending like this one.]

[Jack.

She is going to give you a look. And it is not a nice one.]

Learn through what has happened that greed brings nothing but misery.

[Hey, don't be judging!]

So maybe I could stand to be a little more generous with it next time around. But there's nothing evil about having money, Saber.

Money is useless in this land anyway. I doubt they would be so kind as to take you back home with your gold in tow.

Meh. Figures I'd lose another fortune, all over again, in a place I couldn't even use it.

[Why does his life suck so much?]

[Dying, losing your gold - life is so cruel.]

I'm glad to see you have your priorities in line.

Priority one is back to getting out of here.

[He finishes off his sub... and decides he's too full for that second one.]

Incidentally... that sword of yours? It seemed pretty familiar to me.

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