originaljackass: (Bang you're dead)
Jack Horner ([personal profile] originaljackass) wrote2011-07-07 08:33 pm

Ch. 8 - The Death and Return of Jack of Fables


[The moment Jack woke up, somewhere out in the woods, his eyes shot open and he reached for his chest, expecting to find a sword sticking out of it. But there wasn't one. More than that, he could see that his fingers... well, he had fingers. No claws. He felt his face and the familiar stubble was there, as was his long hair, and he quickly determined he had a chest and a feet and his Happy Stick is there and not... scaly.

Whew. Load off his mind. It also proves that people really DO revive in Luceti. But he also knows that people LOSE things when they die. The first thing he does is find something sharp enough to cut himself on. He's pleased to see it quickly heal up, nearly instantly, as if the wound had never been there at all. He then finds a boulder and throws it, proving he is indeed super strong still. So he had his looks and power again... but what about his loot? He'd have to go back to the cave later and see if those bastards that killed him hadn't stolen it all.

... thought he wasn't sure if he should bother. Last thing he wanted to do was risk dragon-ing it up again.

So he takes a long, lonely hike to the village and returns home. He grabs a nice button up shirt, a black sports coat and slacks to toss on. So he'd died twice now. Neither time took. And he was looking as good as ever. Now just as long as he didn't turn into a dragon again, he was A-OK.

So the first thing he does is go to the journals.]


[Voice]

Looks like I'm back to the land of the living and I ain't a dragon anymore. How is it that death is the cure for so many afflictions? First order of business - any women out there wanting a roll in the hay? It's been months since I had any. We can make it as romantic as you like, suits me just fine.

Oh. Guess I owe an apology towards certain individuals for any injuries I may have caused during that scuffle. But in my defense? You guys killed me. So don't expect me to feel too guilty about that.

Thirdly... thirdly... I need some cigarettes and a beer. And some painkillers. I also think I've got on hell of a case of phantom limb going here after losing those extra wings... and the tail.

Oh yeah, anyone seen a tiny blue cow running around? I lost track of the thing a few weeks ago.

[Yeah, screw the journal, he's going to the bar to smoke and drink. If he can't have some sex, this will just have to do.]
herotypical: (} and we're trying to be faithful)

[ action ]

[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
[ a shiver. ] It's just so wrong. To think...nah.
herotypical: (} better than the first time)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
...And yet, I find myself not really chomping at the bit to find out.

[ which is still a new feeling for buffy summers. ]
herotypical: (} ministers of government)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
...Who did it?

[ this after a long pause. ]
herotypical: (} you eat the bivalve anyway)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
Figures, it'd be a her.
herotypical: (} where's my lover -- where's the bar?)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
What? Puh-lease. Out of all the possible Jacks I could bother to get jealous over, you are at the very bottom of that list.
herotypical: (} i never want to do that stuff)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Except next breath you'll be telling me how you supposedly met the guy. And that's exactly the kind of BS that makes my protesting out to be just enough.
herotypical: (} and they checked my pulse)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
Then you got to miss out on those funny puffy Medieval shorts. Good for you.
herotypical: (Default)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 12:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Whoever dreamed those up needs to be shot.

[ ...and she doesn't even like guns. ]
herotypical: (} sew a flag on the back)

Re: [ action ]

[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 12:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she takes almost everything way too personally -- and so horner's criticism hits rather rawly and she stiffens. ]

Yeah, well? I don't need to have been. And they're just that ridiculous. Who ever thought that was a good idea? I mean -- sure, we all dabbled in spandex in the nineties but that's not half as bad. Those things look like fancy adult diapers.
herotypical: (} and in her glove compartment)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-09 12:43 pm (UTC)(link)
...Don't go getting all wise and reasonable on me, Horner.

[ it makes you harder to dislike. ]
herotypical: (} and i could work weekends)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-11 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
...There's probably a reason for that.
herotypical: [ neutral ; snark ; angry ] (} give me half as much)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-11 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
...I got a 1430 on my SAT. Just so you know.
herotypical: (} but i have to squint)

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[personal profile] herotypical 2011-07-11 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Then all you need to know is that it's a pretty damn good score.

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