originaljackass | Ch. 8 - The Death and Return of Jack of Fables

[The moment Jack woke up, somewhere out in the woods, his eyes shot open and he reached for his chest, expecting to find a sword sticking out of it. But there wasn't one. More than that, he could see that his fingers... well, he had fingers. No claws. He felt his face and the familiar stubble was there, as was his long hair, and he quickly determined he had a chest and a feet and his Happy Stick is there and not... scaly.

Whew. Load off his mind. It also proves that people really DO revive in Luceti. But he also knows that people LOSE things when they die. The first thing he does is find something sharp enough to cut himself on. He's pleased to see it quickly heal up, nearly instantly, as if the wound had never been there at all. He then finds a boulder and throws it, proving he is indeed super strong still. So he had his looks and power again... but what about his loot? He'd have to go back to the cave later and see if those bastards that killed him hadn't stolen it all.

... thought he wasn't sure if he should bother. Last thing he wanted to do was risk dragon-ing it up again.

So he takes a long, lonely hike to the village and returns home. He grabs a nice button up shirt, a black sports coat and slacks to toss on. So he'd died twice now. Neither time took. And he was looking as good as ever. Now just as long as he didn't turn into a dragon again, he was A-OK.

So the first thing he does is go to the journals.]

[Voice]

Looks like I'm back to the land of the living and I ain't a dragon anymore. How is it that death is the cure for so many afflictions? First order of business - any women out there wanting a roll in the hay? It's been months since I had any. We can make it as romantic as you like, suits me just fine.

Oh. Guess I owe an apology towards certain individuals for any injuries I may have caused during that scuffle. But in my defense? You guys killed me. So don't expect me to feel too guilty about that.

Thirdly... thirdly... I need some cigarettes and a beer. And some painkillers. I also think I've got on hell of a case of phantom limb going here after losing those extra wings... and the tail.

Oh yeah, anyone seen a tiny blue cow running around? I lost track of the thing a few weeks ago.

[Yeah, screw the journal, he's going to the bar to smoke and drink. If he can't have some sex, this will just have to do.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Depends. Is that an invitation to do better?

It's advice. For when it comes to anyone else less, uhm, currently indisposed.

I'll keep it in mind.

Unless they really, really, really like roses. I don't know. I probably shouldn't be dispensing advice for the less indisposed.

I usually don't do flowers.

What? Gonna spin some line about how they always wither away and die?

Nope. Just that the Prince Charming routine just isn't me.

...So why bother with the flowers at all?

I figured I'd go all out for once. Just to see how it went.

...Want to know a secret?

Sure, what's that?

...The only thing that date was? Was a super-botched attempt at coaxing intel out of you about someone else. A subterfuge test drive. That's it.

[ her tone suggests that this wasn't a poor attempt at lobbing a low insult at the man. really? it's all about the honesty. ]

[And somehow... this doesn't surprise him at all.]

Nina, right? Figures.

...She shot me a couple of times in the ladies room, over there. [ a nod of her head in the appropriate direction. ] And got all kinds of threat-happy besides. I had investigating to do.

I beat her in a duel. We had sex. That was the extent of our story together.

...So you're telling me I should've just asked? And I could've spared myself the -- well...

[ buffy frowns. telling jack sparrow had been awkward, but it wasn't as though the two of them had been together, then. ]

[He stops to think about that.]

Yeah, pretty much.

I was trying to put a few subterfuge-y lessons into practice at the time, but...yeah. Asking. Would've been better.

She shot me. Twice. Tell me -- do you think she's upped and gone home, now? I haven't heard from her but she...she can shape-shift. She could be hiding out as anyone.

[Shot twice? Well that's unfortunate. Especially if you don't quite heal like Jack.]

She didn't strike me as the kind of person to hide longer than she needed or cared for. If she was here and still had a grudge out for you, I think you'd have known by now.

You're right. I know you're right.

[ nina simply had her so shaken up, for a while. ]

That happens more often than you think, you know. [The being right, thing.]

[ it shouldn't be so easy to talk to him; however, it is. ]

No need to rub it in.

[He SHOULD rub it in. Speaking of rubbing, alcohol!]

In that case, how about a refill then?

[ that one was a groaner. jsyk. ]

Refills? Refills I can do. Same again or do you wanna be adventurous?

I don't do drunk marches home. Let's stick to the classics.

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