Ch. 8 - The Death and Return of Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[The moment Jack woke up, somewhere out in the woods, his eyes shot open and he reached for his chest, expecting to find a sword sticking out of it. But there wasn't one. More than that, he could see that his fingers... well, he had fingers. No claws. He felt his face and the familiar stubble was there, as was his long hair, and he quickly determined he had a chest and a feet and his Happy Stick is there and not... scaly.

Whew. Load off his mind. It also proves that people really DO revive in Luceti. But he also knows that people LOSE things when they die. The first thing he does is find something sharp enough to cut himself on. He's pleased to see it quickly heal up, nearly instantly, as if the wound had never been there at all. He then finds a boulder and throws it, proving he is indeed super strong still. So he had his looks and power again... but what about his loot? He'd have to go back to the cave later and see if those bastards that killed him hadn't stolen it all.

... thought he wasn't sure if he should bother. Last thing he wanted to do was risk dragon-ing it up again.

So he takes a long, lonely hike to the village and returns home. He grabs a nice button up shirt, a black sports coat and slacks to toss on. So he'd died twice now. Neither time took. And he was looking as good as ever. Now just as long as he didn't turn into a dragon again, he was A-OK.

So the first thing he does is go to the journals.]

[Voice]

Looks like I'm back to the land of the living and I ain't a dragon anymore. How is it that death is the cure for so many afflictions? First order of business - any women out there wanting a roll in the hay? It's been months since I had any. We can make it as romantic as you like, suits me just fine.

Oh. Guess I owe an apology towards certain individuals for any injuries I may have caused during that scuffle. But in my defense? You guys killed me. So don't expect me to feel too guilty about that.

Thirdly... thirdly... I need some cigarettes and a beer. And some painkillers. I also think I've got on hell of a case of phantom limb going here after losing those extra wings... and the tail.

Oh yeah, anyone seen a tiny blue cow running around? I lost track of the thing a few weeks ago.

[Yeah, screw the journal, he's going to the bar to smoke and drink. If he can't have some sex, this will just have to do.]

Comments

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

...So, how long have you been telling people that one? [She'll think about the truthfulness of it. She'll still poke fun at the clicheness and the fact that he's an immortal saying it.]

[originaljackass]

Aerith, babe, most people are born already knowing it. [And most people he has to tell it to don't know he's an immortal.]

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

Well don't worry yourself for my sake. I know how to have fun plenty! I don't get bored as easily as other people do. [ Or she doesn't sit around in boredom, anyway. She takes a nice long sip of the smoothie, savoring it. ]

[originaljackass]

You know what? I believe you.

[He begins to drain his drink, now remembering that this is a date, right? So things people on dates do is...]

So, tell me about yourself. We've known each other awhile, right? I still don't know about what you do, beyond overcharging for flowers.

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

I didn't overcharge everyone! Well, I have to grow the flowers first. I did that in a church in the sector 5 slums. No one was taking care of it, so I used it. And I looked after some of the kids in the area.

Hm, hm, hm... I helped save the world, too, but I don't think that counts for a job. [ With a teasing smile. Hey, if Jack has so many tall tales she can talk about her own. ]

[originaljackass]

[So she's from the slums. He doesn't hold that against her, though. He was a dirt poor farmer in his childhood.

Saving the world is of interest, though.]

Saved the world, huh? With some hardcore environmentalism, maybe?

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

[ Her smile widens. ] Not quite. It did involve being in touch with the Planet, does that count?

[originaljackass]

How does one go about being in touch with the planet?

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

Talk to it. That's what the Cetra did as a people. Travel the Planet, take care of its land, speak to it and unlock its magic.

...And, if you couldn't guess, I'm a Cetra. [ There we go, that sounds more fun to say than "I'm the last one." ]

[originaljackass]

[Yet... the name means nothing to him. For all he knows, the Cetra are some cult on her world.]

Talking to the planet, huh? It ever say anything interesting? Seems like that'd be like me having a conversation with the bacteria between my teeth.

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

It's nothing like that at all! [ Yeah, she's offended at that, and she harrumphs--while looking to the sides to see if anyone noticed her outburst, and lowering her voice while it still stays pointed in tone. ] The Planet is living like any person. Even more because everyone returns to it when they die. Their energy, their memories... all of it becomes part of the Planet. It's not easy to make out, but it's not dumb.

[originaljackass]

[He is only amused by her outburst and not bothered at all by her tone.] You got my analogy all wrong. I was comparing us to the bacteria. If you got a living planet, you'd think it would be too busy being a planet to care about the tiny germs living on it.

[Frankly Jack has been too many weird places to find the concept of a living planet unusual.]

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

You could have been a little clearer. ...To be honest, it is pretty busy being a Planet. Most of what I hear is simply whatever's going on in the Lifestream. But when AVALANCHE learned about a threat to the Planet, I had to speak directly to it to warn it of the danger.

[originaljackass]

[He thought the analogy was pretty clear! Oh well.]

Avalanche? Lifestream?

would you like fries with your exposition

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

The Lifestream is under the surface of the Planet. That's where everyone's energy and memories go. It's also where the energy for new life comes from. If the Lifestream vanished, there would be no more life. The Planet would just fall apart, even!

And AVALANCHE... at first they were a terrorist group that fought Shinra. You see, Shinra was draining the Planet's energy to make electric energy at a profit... and other things. Well, AVALANCHE is still a rebel group, but now it's nine people. Barret and Tifa, Cloud and me, Vincent, Yuffie, Nanaki, Cid, Cait Sith...

[originaljackass]

[Okay, so lifestream is the cosmic life goop. AVALANCHE are freedom fighters.]

Zack's not one of 'em?

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

We didn't run into him when we were traveling. [ The simple finality in her tone suggests she's not considering this part of the story. Mostly because if they get into that it won't be a fun date anymore. ]

[originaljackass]

Got it. [He's not going to really think about that any harder than he has to.] Dragging around your ex for something like that would be awkward.

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

Pfft. But hey--it could be really good if you wanted to be friends again! Nothing to smooth over differences like, hmm, trying to beat a bomb before it blows up in your face. [ She looks over at him. ] It's a monster with fire magic, and it's spiteful. Picks fights it won't win and then, when it realizes that? Kaboom. [ She shakes her head. ]

[originaljackass]

[Jack just regards that with a slightly amused, but not at all surprised look. He's been too many places to consider that odd.]

Sounds like a real pain in the ass. How do you beat 'em? [Not that he really cares much, but it's a better subject than what happened to her and Zack.]

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

Ice magic, of course. Freeze out the fire, and then you'll definitely win!

[originaljackass]

Not something I'd think of. The only bombs I know are the manmade kind. Freezing them isn't that much of a strategy.

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

I know that kind of bomb too, you know. But, I've never handled one of THOSE. [ She thinks of something, then leans forward on the table, propping up her head on one hand--yes, rather like Jack is. ] Have you? I will be very disappointed if you say no~

[originaljackass]

[Well, that's putting them a bit close together, isn't it? Not that he's complaining or anything.]

Handled? I've made them before. [Maybe not quite anything as complicated as you see in the movies, but he knows his way around explosives.]

and the new icons make their appearance, I see. :)

[gardenerofgaia.livejournal.com]

Ah--for what? [ She's a tiny bit surprised, but only because they started talking about disarming them. It's not so weird that he'd make them, too. ]