originaljackass | Ch. 9 - You only wish you could be like Jack of Fables

[Voice]

All the kids were packed at the beach yesterday. I took a stroll through there, just to be reminded that over half this place is under the age of seventeen. What a pain.

[Having spent a few centuries in a town full of immortals, teenagers and children were a pretty rare sight, save for those stuck at that age like Pinocchio and Ozma. So for a womanizer like Jack who has standards about the age of the Mundys he dates, this isvery much a pain in the ass.]

Let's have our own beach shindig. One evening, at sunset, with a cabana for serving drinks. There's not as many of us people who are on the better side of twenty, but us old people have to stick together. [Yet despite being hundreds of years old, Jack has never, ever felt old.] Anybody willing to throw their hat in for the bar tending? I'll even throw the hut together for you. [After all, he did make the House that Jack Built.]

Oh, one more thing. To all the beautiful new babes out there - and I'm not talking to you schoolgirls out there - welcome to Luceti. I'm Jack Horner. We should get to know each other better.

[Action]

[Meanwhile, Jack's day is a rather interesting one as he sits at home and rubs his gut. When did he get a gut? How could he get a gut? He doesn't like this, not at all. He's vaguely terrified he's going to turn into a dragon all over again. Ultimately it drives him out of the house and to the stores, so he can look for a weight lifting set. Though when he does finally locate one, he realizes his own super strength is going to be working against him if he actually wants to get legit exercise. Damn. It prompts him to get back on the journals a few hours later with a different message.]

[Written]

Anyone got any tips for staying in shape? I mean, besides the diet and exercise shit. [A pause as he considers. He doesn't have the patience or discipline for that kind of thing.] Like a job or something.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Good to know.

That usually gets more of a reaction.

Well...from my point of view I'm sharing space with people from unique places, some of which are from fictional medium on my world. You get over the shock after a few months.

Well, that's disappointing. Though what makes me different than your Supermans is that I'm not fictional and that my exploits are timeless.

...I'm pretty sure the various superheroes that have shown up here wouldn't agree.

I'll admit it's a bit weird, though.

Of course they'd disagree. Doesn't mean they'd be right.

[You're trying way too hard, dude. If this comes with some sort of magic spell meant to make you look cool, it's failing.

Derek settles the book to the table, stretching his arms while he answers.]

Hmn.

Anyway. Let me know.

Yeah, sure.

[Though he might just. Forget.

What? He doesn't like people who make it a point to act underwhelmed.]

[When you have a job where the monsters you're killing all try the same thing (and half your partners, too), it's pretty hard to get excited. Better luck with the next guy?]