originaljackass | Ch. 10 - In the end, it always ends with just Jack of Fables

[Last night, Jack stayed over at Rose's place, just like he had been for a few nights now. He'd finally worked his way into her good graces and he couldn't be happier. But when he woke up this morning, it was in an empty bed. And then he realized it was an empty room inside an empty apartment. It was like no one had ever lived there. Frustratingly, whoever did the cleaning up in this place, apparently considered the clothes he left by the bed to be part of her belongings to be 'cleaned away'. About nine in the morning, Jack spent the morning hoofing it from Building 7 over to 4, wearing nothing but a blanket around his bottom half. Damn Malnosso. Up until now he'd thought they were just dickwads. Now he knew they truly were utter assholes.

Later, once he has clothing on again, Jack finds himself in a rather poor mood. He'd almost had it all. He'd been happy in Luceti, for once. He hadn't been this happy since he was with Holly. Now he was back to having nothing and it pissed him off to no end. After realizing that booze wasn't helping, he spends most of the day doing hard labor at the farm. At least his efforts were paying off. Wouldn't be long until it would be time to harvest.

When evening comes, he intends to hit up Cloud Nine... only to find it's not in use. Sitting on the stairs to the night club, he opens up his journal, still late in the evening, to ask what happened.]

Anyone know what happened to Cloud Nine? I was hoping for somewhere to relax, maybe enjoy some music and drink, the company of some beautiful women. I'm not going to have to settle for the bar again, am I?

[Later in the evening, in the plaza, Jack will have fished out a harmonica among his belongings. He's playing a slow tune to improve his mood. He's a little rusty, but he improves as he carries on.]

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[Jack, however, is not in the mood to deal with it.]

Try not to take it personal.

[ bad-mooding all around, then. ]

What's so settleable about it then, huh?

It's not what I wanted, tonight. I'm going to pass on the banter, Buffy. I'm not in the mood.

Well? There's a lot of anti-mood going around.

What happened?

[ she's keen to have a distraction from her own woes. ]

Shit. Shit happens, Buffy. What's it to you?

[It's not like he goes digging in her personal life.]

To me? It's someone else's shit. Which is at least twice as distracting as getting hung up on my own. And this whole conversation just kinda started to sound a little gross. Ugh.

So you want to play Oprah to my problems, so yours don't seem as bad? Classy.

...Oh, come on. Like you're the poster-boy for class in the first place.

[ then, gentler: ] I've never known you to hold back about yourself before, Horner.

Even living legends like me have their personal lives, pumpkin.

[Deliberately said this time. Give her something else to be upset about.]

Edited 2011-09-11 19:51 (UTC)

...Why? Why pumpkin? I'm not a redhead. I don't grow on a vine. I don't get my eyes poked out for hilarious but kind of creepy holiday decorations.

Would you like me to come up with some kind of eye opening explanation for it? I mean, I could come up with one, just like that. It'd be good, too.

Fine. Create away, o-immortal-one.

[ pumpkins are depressing. :| ]

Well, I told you I died once, right? Well, I'd made a deal before then with the devil, so as to save my soul from eternal damnation before then. Well, I get to heaven expecting to be welcomed in by St. Peter, but wouldn't you know it, I wasn't on the party list. I get directed to hell, where the devil says I have no place there, on account of our deal. So here I am, undead man, with no afterlife that'll take him. That devil bastard gives me one of hell's coals to light my way back to the living world.

Damn thing burned my skin, so it was literally playing hot potatoes until as luck had it, I came across a headless horseman using a pumpkin for a head. I jumped the bastard, stole his pumpkin, and put the coal in it. And that's how the Jack O'Lantern was invented.

[Yes. Jack is the reason for that story. Digest that for a bit.]

Anyway, that pumpkin was important to me. It was the light of my world. My guide through the hardest of times in my life. So. You're the pumpkin. Flattering, isn't it?

...Don't you just know how to make a girl feel special and how to talk yourself up at the same time. Impressive.

[ but there is a distinct lack of edge to her voice; almost gratitude. ]

Well I've had lots of practice.

[He's just lucky he chose such a convenient pet name.]

...Ever feel like your techniques might be, y'know, outdated? Non-fresh? Spoiled? Curdled?

Generally speaking, I just go around being me and sooner or later, things work out the way I want them to. What's the point of fixing what ain't broken?

Unlike the rest of us, you have the time to be that patient about the later part of sooner and later.

The later doesn't generally take as long. Maybe my natural charm and magnetism is at half power here.

...That'd mean it was a super-power and not at all your own natural gifts. Think your ego can handle that, Horner?

Sarcasm, Buffy, that's what it was. I don't need any sort of magic to be irresistible.

Just the inherent magic of you, huh?

Exactly. Not even a Shift could change that. Well, barring shapeshifting dragon-related issues.

And even then I'm sure all the lady-dragons would've loved you.

... dragon sex is one of the things I tried to avoid thinking about. [Because... eww.]

originaljackass - 2011-09-13 03:02 (UTC) - Expand

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Ch. 10 - In the end, it always ends with just Jack of Fables

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[ voice ] that tag requires this icon. not that...you can probably see why. it's so small.

[ voice ] I think I see a pumpkin in it.

[ voice ] yes! and it's from this scene: http://vrya.net/bdb/clip.php?clip=1139

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[ voice ] hot. gavin agrees.

[ voice ] now he wishes he had Thursday still

[ voice ] "....you know what? maybe!"

[ voice ] Norry should get scruffed up again and hang out with Jack

[ voice ] sdlkfjl;sdf on the prowl for ladies.

[ voice ] Precisely!

[ voice ] ...actually i kinda want to see this now.

[ voice ] and now it is inevitable

[ voice ] :| i'd stalk it.

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