originaljackass | Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Meet her? I dunno, I'll put you on the babysitting list of something.

Do I have to ask Buffy to tell me where you're living now so I can see her myself?

I wish I could oblige, but Jack hasn't yet extended me an invite.

[ at least...not the sort of invite she'd be willing to accept. ]

[To Buffy:] It must be in the mail. [To Winry:] Besides, when did you become child services, Win? You going to take her away if it's not up to your standards?

What? No, I just want to meet her! Don't be a jerk!

And yet...the child services thing doesn't sound like a terrible idea.

[ but she can't really be serious, given how long she's already gone not interfering. if anything, buffy thinks it'll be good for jack. ]

We're in building one. First floor.

[But he'll withhold the room. You know. Just in case.]

I'll commit that to memory.

Oh! You're just down the road...

Don't go getting any ideas I moved there for you, Buffy. There was a hot chick on that floor. She's gone now. And I've got a lizard for a neighbor. I'm thinking of moving.

Oh, come on. Not really, right?

Oh, Win. I've learned not to doubt the endless depths of his jackassery. Less disappointment, that way.

"Well there's also a devil chick down the hall, so it's not a total loss."

I'm so very proud.

[Not. Ugh she'll have more of her drink.]

...Devil chick?

[ her interest is professional. not personal. ]

I didn't get the particulars. Her and I were a bit busy doing other things to discuss her particular affiliations. I'd elaborate, but we've got Win here.

Don't treat me like a kid!

...Yeah, I don't particularly wanna hear about those elaborations. I don't think age has anything to do with it. [ MAYBE WINRY WOULD GIVEN HER READING CHOICES OF LATE HAR HAR. ]

No no, she's an adult, Buffy.

[Jack turns to Winry.]

So here I am with this busty, beautiful babe in my arms. She's staring up at me with her lustful eyes as I take her back home, but it's clear she wants it now and she can't bear the wait. Neither can I. I can feel myself practically bursting. I've had a thousand years of seeing some incredibly sexy women, but this one was in the top five. Anyway, we get to her apartment and we're ripping each other's clothes off, throwing our flesh at each other, she's moaning out in ecstasy, crying out for more. So I'm giving her more, because if there's one thing I'm good at, it's pleasuring a woman regardless of who she might be.

[He may go on like this for even longer. Or Winry might mercifully stop him very early on.]

[What is he...]

[HE'S REALLY NOT, IS HE? NO, NO HE IS...]

J-Jack, stop it! Shut up, I don't want to hear-

Oh my god, why would you tell anyone that?!

Edited 2013-05-17 02:01 (UTC)

Shut up, shut up, shut up! This isn't what I meant!

I want you to refrain from elaborating because that's terrible, not because I'm some kid who needs to be protected from sex!

Also you're disgusting!

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