originaljackass | Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

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Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

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She wasn't as short as Buffy Summers. That fake marriage had been quite the strain on his neck. In turn, he did loosen his tie as he prepared for what his favorite part of the evening. The sex.

"There's AC aplenty. But it's also April."

"I like it to be cold," came the vague explanation as Effie began to explore the sparse not-quite-tidy-enough apartment. It needed something. A giant throw-pillow, maybe. A stack of Chinese boxes. A stuffed bird of some kind wouldn't be amiss.

"Well then you're in luck. I happen to enjoy the cold myself. There's a reason they used to call me Jack Frost."

While she explored, he found the thermostat and raised the AC. A nice, chilly sixty degrees might do the trick.

"That's funny; you were quite warm during our LAST meeting." She turned to look at him and smiled. Maybe they should just go at it today. All that talk of his "kid" had been weird. "Are you ready to warm me up again?"

Jack loved him a woman that was direct about what she wanted. Especially when what she wanted involved the sorts of things Jack liked. It certainly eased any problems of needing things like romantic dates, flowers, and pretending to be interested in her hobbies.

He began to unbutton his shirt.

"Think of me as your own personal furnace. Among other heat-related sexual euphemisms."

"Just what every woman wants." She began to unbutton HER shirt. This was all very businesslike and peremptory, really. Effie didn't like too many surprises when it came to sex. The sensations were quite wonderful, but when they were done they were done and one had to get back to business.

"And I can be your euphemistic melting candle?"

"A dwindling candle is probably a poor euphemism." After all, a phallic object being reduced to mush at the end was more appropriate of what happened after the sex.

He dropped his shirt to the floor. He knew quite well that Effie had a certain way of doing things and while ripping off each other's clothes in the throes of passion certainly could be fun, it did reduce the amount of wear and tear when it was handled in this very straight forward manner.

And this was SUCH a very nice shirt! Lilac with a faux-Peter-Pan lace collar and a bow at the throat. Slightly sheer. It slid to the floor in a whisper of fabric.

Effie wasn't at all abashed at being topless in front of her lover. They didn't teach shame about this sort of thing in the Capitol.

"Fine! You come up with a better one, then!"

It was quite possible Jack had never learned what shame was. If he had, it had been discarded centuries ago. He was pleased she had no such inhibitions either. As a man, he was very fond of topless women, but not nearly as fond as he was of entirely nude women.

"Perhaps, you should be the furnace. And I'll be the raging fire inside of you."

"As long as you can keep the rage to about twenty minutes. I have a hair appointment."

The words came forth in a sultry whisper just before Effie launched herself at Jack. The objective? Leap upon him, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Jack easily caught her, wrapping his arms around her to keep her steady. She was easy to carry, thanks to his popularity-based strength and had no difficulty kicking off his shoes even as he kept her steady.

"That could be a problem. I have a very difficult time keeping my rage under a half hour."

"But my wig...."

The rest of that protest was lost as she pressed her lips against his throat. Jack Horner had such a strange effect on her, that was true. He was almost TOO desirable sometimes! And her wig would suffer for it.

But maybe it was worth it. Ten extra minutes? She would take them.

"Your wig can wait."

Possibly forever. Already he was considering finding it and, in the interest of all of Luceti, setting it on fire. But that fire-related activity could wait until after this one was finished. He made a pleased sound as he carried her through the apartment towards his bedroom. In the meantime, his hands took her by the thighs and moved their way down.

"It can. Oh, Jack." She moved from his throat to his mouth. This man's hands were so wonderful -- not at all the way a mid-level bureaucrat from the Capitol would use HIS hands. No, this was another level of gameplay altogether.

He kicked open the door of the bedroom, then clumsily sat himself on the edge of the bed, nearly falling off of it as his attention was more on the maneuvering of his tongue than it was on where his feet might be going. He had a rather witty follow up somewhere waiting on the tip of his tongue, but he found himself otherwise unable to make use of it.

He didn't mind so much.

Effie's own witty rejoinder manifested itself in her hand traveling down inside the front of Jack's trousers. Who needed language at this point? They only needed themselves and a half hour, give or take.

She broke away from his mouth only to lean her forehead against his, briefly.

"Let's try not to fall on the floor, 'kay?"

"Would being on the floor be so bad?"

He provided her the assistance she needed to more easily access his trousers, or rather, what was inside them. He unbuckled his belt and forcefully pulled it free in two or more awkward jerks. It was annoying when it got caught around the sides.

Effie liked a man who could unbelt himself like a hero. She slipped two warm hands beneath his waistband.

"No. I don't think it would at all. But a lady likes to be comfortable."

He unbuttoned his pants to give her just a little more freedom to explore. Jack then tilted his head and leaned in to kiss the top of her breast.

"Well, if the lady insists, then I'll do my best to stay put." A moment passed and he looked back up with a smirk. "Unless you want to negotiate your position."

As much as he enjoyed the moment, he couldn't help but have a little fun in regard to their first time together. That misunderstanding had certainly been an amusing one.

"I want to be President of our coital enterprise." She slid her hands along his length, using one to give herself a little salute. "You can call me 'Madame President.'"

Maybe he shouldn't have asked.

It didn't take much effort for him to be at full mast. A truly proud victory for his new commander-in-chief.

"Then may I suggest we begin our debriefing, Madame President?"

"I'm in the ready-room. Let's start your internship," she snarked back at him as she shifted herself and tried to draw his trousers off.

He surrendered his arms to pushing himself up on the bed so his trousers would be easily slipped off. He then fell back a little, resting on his elbows as he looked up at her. Roleplay wasn't something he did in the bedroom often, but it wasn't new to him. If it's what the woman wanted, he was all too willing to play along.

"I'm ready and listening. What can I do for you, Madame President?"

"Give me absolute power," came the whispered answer as Effie slid astride him. It seemed like a good thing to reach for in any given situation.

He sighed in satisfaction as she moved about him. He'd enjoyed the boat ride before, but this was already turning out to be far more enjoyable now that she seemed to be really enjoying the moment.

"You'll be the most powerful in the land. A goddess, even."

Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

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[action] omg Masa

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[action] the nephew of Frankenstein omg I am dying

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[action] do we mind a ftb here?

[action] YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND OH MASTER