Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

Comments

[herotypical]

"That was me being charitable."

She watched the cube rattle in the drain.

[originaljackass]

Like any good bartender, he procured a rag to begin cleaning the counter top off with while it was still quiet.

"A regular Mother Theresa, you are. Do you think she invited a lot of guys over to her place for movie night?"

[herotypical]

"I doubt it. Nuns just don't know how to party. I hear the food's decent, though. At last, the one I asked seem to think convent fare wasn't awful."

[originaljackass]

"Shame she wasn't famous when she was younger."

It was fairly obvious where this thought was going. Buffy had the power to stop it.

[herotypical]

"Oh, don't you dare say it. I don't wanna know. The more I hear about your illustrious list of ladies, the more I regret ever being added to it. I don't even know this much about Jack's exes.

The other Jack. My Jack."

Duh.

[originaljackass]

"Ha. I bet his list of exes is still in the double digits."

[herotypical]

It was bad enough when he was talking about his own bedpost notches; Buffy should have known better than to invite commentary upon Sparrow's.

"Maybe. Maybe not. No one can blame me for not asking."

...But yeah, she assumed double digits as well. Sigh.

[originaljackass]

"I wish I'd counted," Jack said forlornly. He stared up in the air and squinted his eyes with a thoughtful expression. "I could have hit the quadruples, but America was pretty close minded about sex when I first got there."

[herotypical]

"And yet, people here look at me askance when they start mentally tabulating my single digit magic number. Double standards, Jack. They suck."

[originaljackass]

"They must expect better from you. I think that's a compliment."

[herotypical]

"Oh, sure. Their judge-y eyes and disappointment is oh-so-flattering."

Though, to b quite honest, it was less an issue of volume and more an issue of vampires. That fact tended to freak people out.

[originaljackass]

"I've been pretty disappointed in your choice of men, too. So you're welcome."

[herotypical]

"Hey now, there's only two that you've met. And you're half of that two."

[originaljackass]

"Getting fifty percent right is still a failing grade."

[herotypical]

"Pardon me if I'm not interested in being graded on your curve."

[originaljackass]

"Then I take it you're not interested in extra credit opportunities."

[herotypical]

"And this would exactly be why I'm a college drop out and not a Rhodes Scholar."

[originaljackass]

He rolled his eyes at her and was about to fire a quip off when the door opened. Well, if it weren't their long lost daughter. He gave Buffy a look, then went over to talk to the girl.