originaljackass | Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

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Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

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A bartending team. [He glances at Winry.] And don't think I can't. I've grounded giants before.

Oh no, I'm just shivering in my boots over here.

[She closes her eyes and sips her drink.]

Keep up with talk like this, Jack, and I'll ground you. Six feet of ground, in point of fact.

Oh sure. Use the burial metaphors on the dead man. I see how it is.

Dead?

...And that would be the thing, Win. The thing I said he should tell you himself. Only he could have managed it a mite more delicately.

I died. Got sworded. Right here. [He patted his chest. Then he reached under the counter and set his briefcase on the counter. And from it he pulled out Excalibur, a brilliantly magnificent sword that could not possibly fit in said briefcase.] With this! I was also a dragon at the time. And my son did it. It's very, very tragic. Buffy is just insensitive.

[Winry leans away from the counter as an unpleasant expression settles on her face.]

How can you just... say it like that?
[Dead. He died. Dead just like her real father and Hughes. Unlike those maybe Jack did something to provoke it, but... Dead.]

[ the question hadn't been directed to her, but: ] Sometimes -- after a while -- it's the only way you can say it.

[Well, he felt the slightest twinge of regret at being so brazen. He puts the sword back in the briefcase and snaps it closed.]

It loses its luster after the third time. Don't worry, Win. Your old Uncle Jack'll be fine. This isn't my first time weaseling my way out of the after life. And I'm here, aren't I? In the land of the living.

[Her hands both cup her glass, and they tense their grip as she holds her emotions in. It's nice that he's trying to comfort her, but he's the one who died. It's not like-

She lowers her head just a bit, but her bangs easily covers her eyes. Hah, she needs a hair cut.]
It's not the same, but I get it.

[ and where jack feels only a twinge, buffy feels a deluge. guilt floods her in that familiar shock of hot humiliation -- colouring her cheeks and making her restless. she reaches for an empty glass and tosses it between empty palms. and she's glad the sword is gone, because it had somehow made her anxious.

winry's right, of course. it's not the same. jack's dead and when he leaves he will be dead again. as much kinship as she felt with the dead, the line is always drawn at that far outer edge. she gets to live when she goes home, despite being twice-dead.

buffy prepares herself a very weak rum and coke of her own, thinking about how she gets to live... ]

There's something to be said for a long and profitable life -- no matter how crookedly those profits were obtained. [ and she makes one for jack, so all three of them have something. ] I'll drink to that.

[ a toast to jack horner. heaven help them all. ]

[He looked between the two of them and wistfully wondered why he never thought to come up with this his first time around. If a dead wife gained sympathy, being actually dead earned it in spades. It sort of made him feel guilty.

Sort of.]

A thousand-something years and counting! Here's the next thousand!

[He lifted his glass and then took a drink.]

[Winry lifts her head and her drink. Okay, she'll go along with it. She puts back a mouthful, and then sets it down on the counter.]

So I hear you got a new kid. Should I be jealous?

[ up in the air goes the glass and down the hatch goes the drink. buffy's grimace is only a slight one, considering how weakly she'd made her own. but she indulges it in silence while waiting for jack to tell his side of the tale. ]

What, Clem? Mildly jealous. She's a much younger model and cute as a button. But don't worry, Win, you'll always be the favorite kid I never had.

[The sarcasm was rather clear there as he had found he rather enjoyed maintaining the charade of being Winry's not-father. Mostly because he felt that she didn't like it, which made it very fun for him.]

Lucky for me. When do I get to meet her?

...She's actually a sweetheart. You'd like her.

Meet her? I dunno, I'll put you on the babysitting list of something.

Do I have to ask Buffy to tell me where you're living now so I can see her myself?

I wish I could oblige, but Jack hasn't yet extended me an invite.

[ at least...not the sort of invite she'd be willing to accept. ]

[To Buffy:] It must be in the mail. [To Winry:] Besides, when did you become child services, Win? You going to take her away if it's not up to your standards?

What? No, I just want to meet her! Don't be a jerk!

And yet...the child services thing doesn't sound like a terrible idea.

[ but she can't really be serious, given how long she's already gone not interfering. if anything, buffy thinks it'll be good for jack. ]

We're in building one. First floor.

[But he'll withhold the room. You know. Just in case.]

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