Ch. 13 - There's no dating service quite like Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Voice - Locked to Women]

Ladies, Jack Horner here. You may have seen my movie. If not, I work at Good Spirits, the local and only bar. We run a classy joint, but it's come to my attention that my good friend and fellow server of alcoholic beverages, has been going through a rough patch. This man has been going for far too long without a good and proper fucking. The man has no girlfriend and yet he continues to serve your drinks with no complaints. Oh sure, he's constantly scowling and he's about as pleasant as a cactus, but the point is: this man is rendering a service without asking for anything in return.

So I ask you ladies, who will take one for the team and give this man some action? Sure, he's sort of plain looking and in desperate need of a haircut, but he's not that bad. I mean, here, let me show you a picture.

[The video pans to a picture Jack managed to obtain that displays Asch the Bloody. See how sad he looks? How desperate he is for some action?]

This man's name is Asch. And he needs you.

Oh, for the record, I wouldn't be against a little extra action thrown my way. Not that I'm desperate or anything. Far from it. Just thought I'd offer.

Comments

[herotypical]

Oh, I have excellent powers of resistance. Especially when it comes to skin-tight legwear and sausages.

[voice]

[strangelyliteral]

I got busy. [And then unbusy. Overwhelmed mostly.] But now I am not busy.

[Video]

[origami_ninja]

I wouldn't say a lot. Although being a shinobi does require a certain level of imagination.

voice;

[degleamed]

Some...come again? [ Mundy...? ]

[Voice]

[installing]

I just don't see it the same way you do, okay?

[It's missing something. Purpose? Drive?]

[Voice]

[originaljackass]

You're the one who started criticizing it, Win.

voice;

[originaljackass]

Mundy. It's a little complicated. Suffice to say, you're not the real Rapunzel. Not the one I know, anyway.

[Video]

[originaljackass]

... kinky. I guess everyone's gotta get some action somehow.

[voice]

[originaljackass]

Well, funny that. I'm fairly unbusy myself.

[originaljackass]

You say that now. But you'll give in. Just you wait and see.

voice;

[degleamed]

Maybe I'm not the same one you know, but that doesn't make me any less of a Rapunzel!

[voice]

[strangelyliteral]

Does that mean you want to go now?

[herotypical]

...Telling me I'm gonna give in only makes me twice as intent not to.

[Voice]

[installing]

I don't even remember how we got started on that.

[Weren't they talking about him being an uncle? Ugh conversation diverging.]

[Video]

[origami_ninja]

We are referring to two very different kinds of action. ...although I did know one person where the two were one and the same to him.

[Hidan - powerful and lethal, but not very bright.]

[Voice]

[originaljackass]

Beats me. All I know is a person is entitled to be proud of what they've done.

[originaljackass]

Which will make the victory twice as sweet.

[voice]

[originaljackass]

In this place, you have to embrace the present. For all I know, you'll be gone tomorrow.

voice;

[originaljackass]

Your hair says otherwise.

voice;

[degleamed]

[ Oh, she didn't like that. Not at all. Not when she was already having trouble finding herself after that particular incident that took her hair away. ]

Just because it got cut, i-it doesn't change who I am.

[voice]

[strangelyliteral]

... Right.

Where were we supposed to meet anyway?

[herotypical]

Sure. For me. My victory.

[originaljackass]

Mmhm. Seeya around, Buffy.

[voice]

[originaljackass]

Seventh Heaven. The place isn't exactly ripe with options.

voice;

[originaljackass]

When your story is 'the girl with the stupidly long hair', I'd say it kind of does. I wouldn't be very Jack-esque if I suddenly became boring and quiet.