originaljackass | Ch. 14 - Life is hunky dory when your name is Jack of Fables

[When Jack's memories returned to normal, he found himself sad only to discover his briefcase was empty. And then when he realized that, he rushed to a mirror and was relieved to find out he was still his incredibly handsome and athletic self. He wouldn't be swelling up to a dragon this time. He didn't know why he had been spared that fate this time, but he took it to be a personal victory. Smugly, he smiled at himself, reminded himself of how awesome he was, and was back to his old self again.

And so from every day since Luceti returned to normal, Jack has served more than his normal shifts at the bar. With Buffy still missing and not all of the staff at their best, he was filling in for them. After all, an experiment like that was going to result in a lot of people needing a good stiff drink. He was only pleased to oblige them. After all, Luceti had no form of therapy other than what could be found at the bottom of a glass at Good Spirits.

Today, however, he felt inclined to talk about the experience. Calmly and rationally.]

[Voice]

So that was a hell of a thing. How many of you guys remember the first one? I swear, this place gets loopier each and every day. The fighting at the end was new. Last time around it didn't get so bloody. Well, it did for me. I turned into a dragon and then had a bunch of psycho, devil-associating lesbians hunt me down to kill me. I think we can all agree that a few crazy vulture-winged assholes isn't as bad as it could be. Especially seeing as killing them is easier than shooting fowl in Duck Hunt.

And for those of you still pouting, come on down to Good Spirits. First drink's on the house.

[Jack will be around that evening to serve drinks and be his usual self. At least until he goes heading home that night. The droids get the jump on him and it's off to experimentation land for him!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[That voice. This is the girl who... did the something. Maybe. Ah hell, he'll remember it.]

Yup. Back in my first trip here. Of course, we didn't have to fight anyone. And there were no cars. The cars were a nice touch.

Cars...?

Well...it wasn't that bad...aside from the fghting.

The big metal boxes people were riding around in? Those were cars.

Oh, those things? They were...interesting.

More like a way of life. A shame the suits didn't see fit to leave them here.

Oh, I'm sure we'll be fine without them.

[She always has been, after all.]

That's because we have nowhere to go while we're here.

Well, that may be true...

So, what do you do here?

Like I was just saying, I serve drinks at the bar. All for free out of the goodness and charity of my beating heart.

My, how kind of you.

It's true. This place has turned me into a goddamn saint. It's scary, really.

[She has no comment for the "saint" thing.]

So you work at the bar...the same one where Asch works?

Yup. Hence the "First drink's on the house" gag.

Hmm...

[She falls silent for a moment, pondering. She hasn't seen Asch since that day. She wouldn't mind seeing him again. A part of her is curious about how strong he really is.]

I suppose I should stop by. Is Asch working there now?

Nope. Right now it's all me.

[Her voice falls flat.] ...Oh.

[...Does she want a drink? Would a drink even help? Well, she's not feeling too terrible about the incident. Sure, she's disappointed that her "family" wasn't real, but she's still rather glad that things are back to normal.]

[...She should probably say something.]

Um...thank you.

... don't tell me you actually like the guy.

[This is a dubious proposition. His attempt to get a chick for Asch had proven, if anything else, that the man was completely and utterly unlikable.]

Well...

[But this is a girl who's so passive, so detached that she can't really find it in her to really like or hate anyone, whatever pleasant airs she may put on.]

He's...not bad...

... not entirely sure if that's accurate.

...What do you mean? He showed me how to use the Battle Dome...

[A bad guy wouldn't do that.]

It's not that hard to figure out.

It's not?

[It is when you're so alien to technology in general.]

Just follow the instructions. Anyway, showing you how to use it doesn't make him some paragon of niceliness. Just decency at best.

Well...like I said, he's...not bad...

[She sounds more confused than anything now. It's not like she has anything not to like about Asch...]

... aren't you the girl I sent to go have sex with him?

[voice]

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