originaljackass | Ch. 14 - Life is hunky dory when your name is Jack of Fables

[When Jack's memories returned to normal, he found himself sad only to discover his briefcase was empty. And then when he realized that, he rushed to a mirror and was relieved to find out he was still his incredibly handsome and athletic self. He wouldn't be swelling up to a dragon this time. He didn't know why he had been spared that fate this time, but he took it to be a personal victory. Smugly, he smiled at himself, reminded himself of how awesome he was, and was back to his old self again.

And so from every day since Luceti returned to normal, Jack has served more than his normal shifts at the bar. With Buffy still missing and not all of the staff at their best, he was filling in for them. After all, an experiment like that was going to result in a lot of people needing a good stiff drink. He was only pleased to oblige them. After all, Luceti had no form of therapy other than what could be found at the bottom of a glass at Good Spirits.

Today, however, he felt inclined to talk about the experience. Calmly and rationally.]

[Voice]

So that was a hell of a thing. How many of you guys remember the first one? I swear, this place gets loopier each and every day. The fighting at the end was new. Last time around it didn't get so bloody. Well, it did for me. I turned into a dragon and then had a bunch of psycho, devil-associating lesbians hunt me down to kill me. I think we can all agree that a few crazy vulture-winged assholes isn't as bad as it could be. Especially seeing as killing them is easier than shooting fowl in Duck Hunt.

And for those of you still pouting, come on down to Good Spirits. First drink's on the house.

[Jack will be around that evening to serve drinks and be his usual self. At least until he goes heading home that night. The droids get the jump on him and it's off to experimentation land for him!]

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[Ah. There's an angle he hadn't considered yet. He's not one for being all feelsy or anything pathetic lie that, but...]

What kind of people were her parents?

Smart people. I think her mom was a doctor, her dad an...engineer. I never met them, but they were good to her from what she told me 'bout them. I...try not to ask her a lot about them. You know.

[It's a sensitive subject and he doesn't want to remind her of what happened to them. Not after they both confirmed that they turned to Walkers.]

[It does sound rather tragic, he supposes. But it's in the past and there's nothing he can do about it.]

So what does that make you to her? Uncle? Unreasonably older brother? High school teacher?

She's nine, Jack. [Though Jack's statement is obviously just in jest...right?] I found her alone in her home. Her parents were out of the city when everything went to hell and her babysitter turned into one of them. I couldn't just leave her alone in that.

Hey, I was killing giants when I was nine. [Which is only tangentially related, but he felt it was important to remind Lee of how awesome he was. In case he forgot. Which he seemed to do, a lot.] Still uh, good on you. She's a meek little kid. Probably wouldn't have lasted long with the whole zombie apocalypse going on.

[He has no reply to that "killing giants" thing. He nods and sighs.]

She wanted to wait for her parents to come home, but I couldn't just leave her there alone with no one to take care of her.

See? That was me, too. Here she was, all lost in Luceti. Scared, alone, and with cute little wings. And me? Well, I know this place well. It's a dangerous place for little squeakers like her. So I took her in, put a roof over head. Let her name my blue pig, even.

[See, see. He's totally responsible too.]

Right...Ben.

[More terrible memories. Does Clem even know he's dead? She was kidnapped that entire time, so maybe not. Not something he wants to bring up to her any time soon.]

Jack, look, I'm sure you're not a bad guy and I don't have anything against you. And if Clem likes you, then I want to like you too.

Well I'm a likable kind of guy.

[He likes it when people like him. So even though he doesn't like Lee, he's going to give him a refill anyway.]

Well, that's good, I suppose.

[He looks down at the drink, but doesn't go for the cup. He shouldn't have that much, even if the urge to get shitfaced is very tempting.]

I should get going. I don't wanna leave Clem alone too long right now.

Yeah. You do that.

[He should be telling Lee to start packing for her. But eh. It can wait for tomorrow. In the meantime, there's other customers to deal with.]

Ch. 14 - Life is hunky dory when your name is Jack of Fables

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