Ch. 2 - Legends are made when you're Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Right now he's got his feet kicked up on a stack of all the various books he could find where he was in them. Collections of fairy tales, fables, and more colorful adaptions - all of them. The other day he raided the library and took all of them home. If people want to go off and read about him, they'll have to talk to the real thing first. After having spoken to some other people about their worlds and sharing his own identity when convenient, Jack has come to some conclusions about Luceti. Ones that requires a little more looking into.]

[Voice]

You people have legends in your world, right? Any of them true? Any of you ever met them? Or hell, maybe some of you are the legendary type too.

I'm one of the latter. I'm Jack of the Tales - at least, all the good ones. Any of you [losers] people heard of me?

Oh right, one more thing. Someone mind telling me how those filters work? Seems like it could be handy.

[Later, for anyone who wants to bother him in person, he'll be hanging out at the shops, wishing he had money to spend on all of it (even though it's all free). Luceti is a poor place to be for a man obsessed with wealth.]

Comments

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[herotypical]

Being close and getting along are two different things. [ it sounds like it should be an argument but, really? it sounds like veiled sympathy for the ex in question. buffy is emotionally tender right now on the subject of siblings. the kind of tender that makes her want to make everyone else's sibling relationships work by proxy. it's a strange kind of superhero complex. ]

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[originaljackass]

She slept with her sister's husband.

[ action ] 2/3

[originaljackass]

[It's then he suddenly has a horrible realization. Snow White was married to Prince Charming. Red Rose slept with him. Jack slept with Red Rose. His father is Prince Charming.]

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[originaljackass]

... oh fucking hell! Goddammit!

[Literal facepalm. This realization couldn't be kept in.]

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[herotypical]

What? Did you leave your stove on or something?

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[originaljackass]

[He scoffs.]

Just one of those sudden realizations about how much I really hate my family.

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[herotypical]

Oh. Uhm, I'm...sorry? [ a little taken off-guard by this change in tack. standing in the middle of the store with fluffy pillows under her arms, buffy can only tilt her head and give a slight shrug. ]

And this is -- what? Your ex's fault? [ trying to follow the narrative thread here. ]

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[originaljackass]

[Pinching the bridge of his nose and a deep breath.]

Forget I said anything. Whatever. I'm never had a family that you'd call close. Just my mother.

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[herotypical]

It was just mom, me and Dawn for the longest time. [ said with a note of i get it. go go shiftless absentee father. ] But it's not about the how many, it's about the who.

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[originaljackass]

My mother was dirt poor and gave me grief about buying magic beans, which just went to prove she didn't know a damn thing.

[In other words, Jack is very much of the opinion, "Family sucks."]

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[herotypical]

Well, to be fair? If what you claim is true and all -- she probably didn't have the lovely beanstalk story already there as precedent. Up until you, all bought magic beans were probably bogus.

[ maybe she's just being charitable with her conclusions now. but so long as horner isn't offending her delicate sensibilities she seems to be managing civility. ]

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[originaljackass]

Wouldn't have hurt to show a little more faith in me, would it? Still, after I ditched home to become a giant slayer, that wasn't much of a problem anymore.

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[herotypical]

You had to leave to become a sl -- to slay?

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[originaljackass]

After that first one with the beanstalk, I got a reputation. And hten it turned out I was damn good at it.

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[herotypical]

So you travelled the world looking for giants to kill. Charming.

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[originaljackass]

Giants that needed killed. If I wanted to just kill any giant I could find, I had magic beans that could take me back to the sky kingdom anytime I wanted. I was even knighted by King Arthur himself. A spot at that round table with my name on it.

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[herotypical]

You realize that your tales keep on getting taller, right?

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[originaljackass]

You're not catching on to this whole fable thing, are you?

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[herotypical]

[ a little tired of jacks -- plural -- telling her she's missing the point, buffy sighs and regrets being unable to cross her arms. so burdened they are with pillows. ] Sure, okay...but you just sound greedy, being so many of them.

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[originaljackass]

I didn't just go picking the ones I liked. All these things actually happened to me. [Said with just a bit of annoyance, thank you very much.]

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[herotypical]

So how do you slay a giant?

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[originaljackass]

You get them with a sword. [He presses a finger against Buffy's forehead, dead center.] That's always a good spot.

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[herotypical]

[ the finger (she thinks) draws undue attention to her lack of height. so there is no shortage of pout in her voice. ]

Sounds way messy, to me.

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[originaljackass]

[He'd never dream of dissing her height. Unless she was twelve feet tall, then there might be questions.]

Most of it is making the giant do all the work hurting himself. Sure, maybe I wasn't as good looking and strong back in those days, but I was just as quick.

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[herotypical]

Nimble, even?