Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

Comments

[herotypical]

Wilfully obtuse: "Y'know, where one person and another person play musical chairs with their bodies and everything's awkward. And you end up with no pulse and man-hands."

[originaljackass]

"... so you had a guy riding around inside you." That was the only part that mattered. "Was it Sparrow again?"

[herotypical]

Ugh. Did he really have to say it like that? His word-choice made her uncomfortable.

"No. If only. That would have simpled things up by so much." Jack had barely been able to look at her, at first. He'd run. He'd run and it hadn't settled well. "It was someone else. Someone from home."

[originaljackass]

"Shame. Sparrow had a great sense of fashion while he was you."

[herotypical]

"Sparrow had you, which is nothing near having great fashion sense."

[originaljackass]

"I'm from the future, remember? My fashion sensibilities are more evolved than your outdated bell bottoms and leg warmers."

[herotypical]

"You dressed him like a streetwalker."

[originaljackass]

"Some things in life are unpredictable, pumpkin. Fashion trends are one of them. I remember when pink stopped being a manly color."

[herotypical]

With a huff, she stopped mid-step and reached for his elbow -- dragging him to a stop as well. And then she offered up her frankest stare and said: "Look me dead in the eye and tell me you didn't know exactly what you were doing when you put together that outfit. No lies. No excuses. No BS about how long you've lived. Try the truth."

Because she'd had a taste of honesty back on the porch, and her appetite was whetted. Even now, the challenge was less about that long-ago day she and Sparrow now only laughed over and more about whether she could continue to coax the truth past Horner's lips.

[originaljackass]

Jack stopped, crossed his arms, and glanced the other way with childlike reluctance. It wasn't that he had any difficulty lying to a person's face without a single tell. That was easy. Telling the truth was hard though.

"You're gonna make us late."

[herotypical]

"...Who's gonna fire us?"

[originaljackass]

"The suits. They run the place, remember?"

[herotypical]

"For turning up late to bar they barely--

You're trying to derail this truth train. I'm not falling for it."

[originaljackass]

"I never bothered boarding it." He began to step away, hoping that would do the trick.

[herotypical]

"It's just...you're not dumb, Jack, " she argued as she followed -- releasing his elbow. Keeping pace. "You would have known I'd see your fashion faux-pas. You didn't even need to know me to know it was just about the rudest thing you could do. He didn't realize that, but he's...

You would have. But you did it anyway."

[originaljackass]

He glanced back. "Buffy, babe. I don't know what kind of answer you're expecting here." He turned his head back ahead again.

"I thought it'd be funny."

[herotypical]

...Pumpkin was preferable to babe, but it would have to be a cold day in several hells because she confessed to that little secret. For now, she made do with dramatic roll of her eyes.

"Of course you did. 'Cause you're kind of an asshole." Only he just might maybe be less of one now. That's what she wanted to know. What she wanted to find out. "Thank God it was Sparrow in my skin -- at least he responds well to a decent chastising."

[originaljackass]

"Hey, if it'd been me, I'd have been on my best behavior. But I'd look good doing it."

In fact, if the penalty for failing to escape was being stuck a woman for awhile, then that was something he could live with. It'd certainly be educational.

[herotypical]

"Spike was on his, but it was still a miserable experience. No one wants to be body-jacked, no matter who's the gentleman on the other side of the swap."

[originaljackass]

"Yeah but Sparrow didn't body-jack you, right? Just got turned into you. That's completely different."

[herotypical]

"Semantics."

She popped the collar on her jacket, as if concerned with the cold. "Just semantics."

[originaljackass]

As they got to the middle of the bridge, Jack turned to the railing to look over.

"It was just a copy of your body, though. Not the real thing."

[herotypical]

"An exact copy. Down to every last freckle and follicle."

And Jack had seen all. He'd admitted as much, and tried to make clumsy amends when he flashed a good portion of Good Spirits on a dare. Quid pro quo. Buffy had been horrified. "I think that makes it real enough."

[originaljackass]

"Nah, Sparrow-you wasn't nearly as much of a hottie. See, I got this guy back home who's a copy of me. Calls himself John and has black hair. But he only kinda looks like me. I'm way more attractive."

[herotypical]

She kicked at the bridge rail.

"What you're referring to, Jack, is my natural charm and charisma. The parts of a person that are more than just skin deep."

But Buffy hoped she was wrong. Even as she rebelled against Horner's objectification, she hardly wanted to entertain the notion that he might appreciate her in more than a superficial capacity.