Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

Comments

[herotypical]

"Okay -- I know you know that's not how I meant the question. Not even a little bit."

Okay. Maybe a little bit.

[originaljackass]

"That woman had lips like your sofa."

[herotypical]

"...Try again, this time by actually talking about her personality. I'm pretty much indifferent to her lips."

[originaljackass]

"Yeah, she was alright. Nice enough. Talked a little too much, though."

He finished his Sprite.

[herotypical]

She propped herself up with one elbow on the bar. So far down the road from her bolted glass of wine, she was hardly impaired but her cheeks did have a fine boozy blush. Of course, she could equally blame the chilly spring evening for that fact.

"Did you see the dress? Or was, y'know, simply a promo...oh! Wait. No.

What I really wanna know is...Grace Kelly?"

[originaljackass]

He made a wistful 'tsk' and shook his head.

"Didn't make it past first."

[herotypical]

"...That's my girl. Anything else would have broken my heart."

[originaljackass]

"Ya know, I didn't want to say anything to them, but there's a few women around here that look a lot like some of the actresses I slept with while making the Jack Tales movies."

[herotypical]

This whisper might be conspiratorial: "...Who?"

Thus proving that at least 70% of her disdain and disinterest was feigned.

[originaljackass]

"There's this chick who looks like Natalie Portman. Which is awkward, seeing as I cast her as my main love interest in the second and third movie."

[herotypical]

"...Yikes. You're not gonna tell her this, right? 'Cause that sort of thing probably doesn't go down well."

[originaljackass]

"I'm not stupid, Buffy. I know better than that."

[herotypical]

"...Are you sure? That you're not stupid, I mean."

[originaljackass]

[herotypical]

"'Cause I'm still not sure."

[originaljackass]

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

[herotypical]

"Probably because you're too dim-witted to think one up that's clever enough."

[originaljackass]

"Or maybe I'm just too nice to not turn it around on you."

[herotypical]

"Don't be," she blundered -- not really meaning to say the words she's saying. "It freaks me out when you're nice."

[originaljackass]

"Have I mentioned how great your hair is today?"

1/2

[herotypical]

2/2

[herotypical]

"Leave the flawlessness of my hair out of this, buster."

[originaljackass]

"And those shoes. They really suit you."

[herotypical]

She offered up a withering look before pouring herself a stout glass of cranberry juice. Virgin.

"It doesn't count if you're being nice to be cruel, Jack."

[originaljackass]

"I can't help myself, pumpkin. It's just your warm and caring personality. It's contagious."