Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

Comments

[originaljackass]

Jack was wise to the world in many ways. But when it came to these kind of things, he wasn't. And while she may have already made her way out, he was still lingering in the door. Actually thinking about this more than he would normally. And that's because he didn't just spout off a lie like he normally would. Buffy was hard to lie to. Not that he had any particular difficulty being convincing and that she could see through them. No, there was just that particularly lingering feeling that came with both her and Winry. And hell, it was developing with Clementine too.

Now that he thought about it, he kind of had that with Gary too. And for not the first time, he realized how much he missed the little guy. If only he'd had killed off Jack Frost quicker, he might have saved him.

"I just think it's true, that's all. I've lived a long time, but I've only met a few women I ever thought were worth a shot, even when I didn't have one."

[herotypical]

She stopped at the bottom of the short staircase. And then she turned about, watching him. Wondering what he was waiting for. But when Jack spoke, she had to clear her throat a few times and examine the peeling paint on her porch rail just to clumsily hide how surprised she was by his words. Jack had always been a pro when it came to backhanded compliments: compliments that often made her feel sick to her stomach as often as they made her feel flattered. But this one settled differently. Despite having practically begged for it, his honesty unsettled her.

She pretended that the only thing upsetting her were memories of other similarly phrased sentiments. Immortal men saying things they should never have said. I've been alive a lot longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that.

For a moment, it sounded as though Buffy might address his words. But no -- instead, she fished for her keys and tossed them to Jack in a gentle arc. "Do me a favour. Lock the door."

It would buy her time to consider her response.

[originaljackass]

Jack was a little surprised at himself. Open and honest was not something he was known for. Ever. But there he was, pausing for a bit too long before he locked the door behind him. As he did, he realized that he was the same was in the end. As a dragon. When he knew his own demise was imminent.

Maybe he was just scared of being alone again.

After the click of the door locking, he walked past her, hands in his pockets, as he prepared for what he expected to be a silent stroll to work.

[herotypical]

Oh, but silence was no good for a woman who frequently armoured herself with words and noise and commotion. Silence allowed too many thoughts to seep their way into too many cracks, like water wanting to find ground. Or maybe electricity. The crunch of her heels on gravel wasn't enough to ward off the first clumsy attempts to fill the empty spaces: "Was it worth it? Your movies for your mission? I never know what's worth buying with all my hard-labour..."

[originaljackass]

He'd never actually considered that. Or rather, reconsidered it. After he lost all is money to Fabletown, it almost seemed worthless. Except he found himself in possession of super strength and invulnerability. But the years that followed was a long cycle of gain and loss. And in the end, he died with nothing. Truly it was a path that took him nowhere.

And then a moment later, she meant the actual DVDs, not the effort spent on making them.

"I was actually planning on escaping. But I never found a good opening."

[herotypical]

"Can't believe I'm actually saying something so defeatist but -- Jack? Don't even try. When it comes to things that aren't worth it? Their escapee-punishments are definitely on that list. Trust me."

[originaljackass]

"Buffy. That's things that happen to other people. I'm Jack Horner. I can do anything."

[herotypical]

"...You don't get much more chosen-y and exceptionally exceptional to the rules as me, but I wasn't spared the circus. Not that I was really the one doing the escaping -- but it turns out they don't really care whose wrists they decide to slap."

[originaljackass]

He fixed her with a frown. "They're running these missions and you're telling me you never really tried to escape?"

[herotypical]

"Hey, now. This was the first one I went on that wasn't one big chaperoned affair. Spike bolted without thinking -- like he always does."

[originaljackass]

"See, I don't know who that guy is, but there's a difference here. Underneath these incredible good looks is a brain. A brilliant mind. I won't make my escape until I have a solid plan first."

[herotypical]

"Alrighty. Don't call me when you end up in some nightmarish body-swap. I'll only tell you that I told you so."

[originaljackass]

"... body swap?"

[herotypical]

Wilfully obtuse: "Y'know, where one person and another person play musical chairs with their bodies and everything's awkward. And you end up with no pulse and man-hands."

[originaljackass]

"... so you had a guy riding around inside you." That was the only part that mattered. "Was it Sparrow again?"

[herotypical]

Ugh. Did he really have to say it like that? His word-choice made her uncomfortable.

"No. If only. That would have simpled things up by so much." Jack had barely been able to look at her, at first. He'd run. He'd run and it hadn't settled well. "It was someone else. Someone from home."

[originaljackass]

"Shame. Sparrow had a great sense of fashion while he was you."

[herotypical]

"Sparrow had you, which is nothing near having great fashion sense."

[originaljackass]

"I'm from the future, remember? My fashion sensibilities are more evolved than your outdated bell bottoms and leg warmers."

[herotypical]

"You dressed him like a streetwalker."

[originaljackass]

"Some things in life are unpredictable, pumpkin. Fashion trends are one of them. I remember when pink stopped being a manly color."

[herotypical]

With a huff, she stopped mid-step and reached for his elbow -- dragging him to a stop as well. And then she offered up her frankest stare and said: "Look me dead in the eye and tell me you didn't know exactly what you were doing when you put together that outfit. No lies. No excuses. No BS about how long you've lived. Try the truth."

Because she'd had a taste of honesty back on the porch, and her appetite was whetted. Even now, the challenge was less about that long-ago day she and Sparrow now only laughed over and more about whether she could continue to coax the truth past Horner's lips.

[originaljackass]

Jack stopped, crossed his arms, and glanced the other way with childlike reluctance. It wasn't that he had any difficulty lying to a person's face without a single tell. That was easy. Telling the truth was hard though.

"You're gonna make us late."

[herotypical]

"...Who's gonna fire us?"

[originaljackass]

"The suits. They run the place, remember?"