Jack Horner (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
originaljackass) wrote2013-05-19 11:00 am
originaljackass) wrote2013-05-19 11:00 am
Entry tags:
Ch. 13 - There's no dating service quite like Jack of Fables
[Voice - Locked to Women]
Ladies, Jack Horner here. You may have seen my movie. If not, I work at Good Spirits, the local and only bar. We run a classy joint, but it's come to my attention that my good friend and fellow server of alcoholic beverages, has been going through a rough patch. This man has been going for far too long without a good and proper fucking. The man has no girlfriend and yet he continues to serve your drinks with no complaints. Oh sure, he's constantly scowling and he's about as pleasant as a cactus, but the point is: this man is rendering a service without asking for anything in return.
So I ask you ladies, who will take one for the team and give this man some action? Sure, he's sort of plain looking and in desperate need of a haircut, but he's not that bad. I mean, here, let me show you a picture.
[The video pans to a picture Jack managed to obtain that displays Asch the Bloody. See how sad he looks? How desperate he is for some action?]
This man's name is Asch. And he needs you.
Oh, for the record, I wouldn't be against a little extra action thrown my way. Not that I'm desperate or anything. Far from it. Just thought I'd offer.
Ladies, Jack Horner here. You may have seen my movie. If not, I work at Good Spirits, the local and only bar. We run a classy joint, but it's come to my attention that my good friend and fellow server of alcoholic beverages, has been going through a rough patch. This man has been going for far too long without a good and proper fucking. The man has no girlfriend and yet he continues to serve your drinks with no complaints. Oh sure, he's constantly scowling and he's about as pleasant as a cactus, but the point is: this man is rendering a service without asking for anything in return.
So I ask you ladies, who will take one for the team and give this man some action? Sure, he's sort of plain looking and in desperate need of a haircut, but he's not that bad. I mean, here, let me show you a picture.
[The video pans to a picture Jack managed to obtain that displays Asch the Bloody. See how sad he looks? How desperate he is for some action?]
This man's name is Asch. And he needs you.
Oh, for the record, I wouldn't be against a little extra action thrown my way. Not that I'm desperate or anything. Far from it. Just thought I'd offer.
[video]
[He sounds very almost actually remorseful about that, like a parent that has a kid that picked up a bad habit. Which is exactly what this is, but Jack is treating it a bit more minor than it actually is.]
[video]
[Yes, she'd looked over that particular thread of madness. If only to sit and cringe and scrub her face over it.]
[video]
[Or maybe this is how it's always been, but Jack has spent a lot of time not really being around kids that actually are the age they look. When he thinks of kids, he thinks of Pinocchio and Ozma, who are just as old as he is.]