originaljackass | Ch. 1 - There is no plan without Jack of Fables

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Ch. 1 - There is no plan without Jack of Fables

[Voice]

Hey Kennedy, meet me at Good Spirits. We're going to have a drink.

[Despite his fantastic lack of an intro post, Jack is actually already settled into Luceti, having already been around for over a week now. Having noticed the large quantity of people who walk around with weapons, Jack has already looted the smithy for a pistol and a perfectly preserved Confederate Officer's saber he'd kept since the war. Sure, it had no special powers and would probably shatter if he used his full strength hitting something with it, but damn if he didn't look cool. Hell, he even has his old officer's hat to go with it.

He'll be available at Good Spirits both before and after meeting Kennedy (if indeed the poor sailor shows up) to be poked and prodded. Or if that's not your thing, he'll be taking his time on his way home in spite of the heavy snowfall (which barely bothers him anyway), whistling a forgotten tune, and wondering what a man is to do in a moneyless economy when his greatest ambition is having lots of money. Which he already had in the real world.]

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Well, you could give me your first name.

[Cuz he sure as hell knows it's not that.]

Or you could finish carrying on about the sorry state your life is in. They didn't bring me here to wait on you hand and foot.

Don't be sour, pal. I'm not calling any favors in just yet.

[He suddenly stands up.]

I've been thinking it's time Jack reinvents himself! Smooth, suave, princely - yeah, I was a prince once - the whole nine yards. Wouldn't be too far off my Hollywood days, but maybe lay off the ruthless businessman aspect. And unlike my 'old man', I'll make sure I get this shit right. What do you think?

I'd like you to go back a bit and tell me about being a prince.

[Because, heh, this has gotta be good.]

I won the title in a lottery on a lark. But then I got into some uh... legal issues, so I sold it back.

[And then he found out the person who sold it, Prince Charming, was actually his father. So technically he's bastard royalty. And since his old man recently died, maybe that makes him a Prince again?]

[Archie chuckles into his glass. Legal issues.]

I'd say.

Being Prince Jack was overrated. Though if I play my cards right, I could reclaim that title again, seeing as how the owner of it just croaked.

[For as much as he takes after his womanizing bastard of his father, he sure does hate him. Mostly for never telling Jack, "These are your half-sisters. Don't sleep with them."]

So if being Prince Jack is overrated, why are you suddenly so keen to reinvent yourself in his image?

[He picks up the bottle and holds it out, silently offering to top Jack off.]

[Sitting back down, he offers his glass for a refill. Back to his big plan.]

You've seen the people around here, right? The people here are ridiculous, practically more fable than I am. You'd think they came straight from the Homelands. They eat that kind of shit up. You do a bit of poncing, talk about your tragic backstory, and feed them a line about some of your heroic exploits - you're in. It's what people here are all about.

Edited 2011-01-11 04:43 (UTC)

[It's amazing how Jack can use English words that Archie, in theory, knows the meaning of, and still talk complete nonsense.]

I take it you're different.

You and me, we live in the real world. You... you're British Navy, right? [A sorely out of date one, but that's not the issue.] So you know how the score really goes.

To which score are you referring?

[The one where doing your duty for king and country makes you a penniless pauper, or the one where having the right word to put in front of your name puts you on equal footing with the Almighty?]

The one where people die.

[Even Jack, hundreds of years old, has died before. It wasn't a happy experience.]

[Yes, Archie is intimately familiar with that score, too. But the potential implications of this statement are unsettling him further.]

I think you should explain yourself, Jack. What are you going to do?

[He notices that it struck a nerve there. He considers that for a moment, files it away for later, and carries on.]

I'm going to play the game. Fit in. Convince people that Jack here does have a heart, cares for the little people, and isn't out for himself. People are in trouble? Jack will be there. Need help painting your house? Well, I'll give you some advice, but I'm not that generous. And for the babes? I can do suave.

And when you've earned their trust, you'll do what, exactly? [Archie pours himself another drink.] Collect their debts?

Haven't thought that far ahead. It'll keep me from getting tossed out of town, for one. Once I find a way out of here, they'll appreciate a leader they can trust.

[He's finding his whole attempt to scope out the place for escape is proving more difficult than he thought. He finishes off his.... well, he's not sure how many he's had yet. Another glass, anyway. He holds it out for some more.]

[Archie slides the bottle toward him.]

You do realize you've just confessed--to me, for whatever reason--to being a manipulative little weasel, don't you? For someone trying to undermine an entire town, you're not very subtle about it.

[He refills his glass, then offers Archie a pat on the shoulder.]

I'm not worried about you telling. Besides, I could always use a wingman. [A sidekick.] And even if you're not interested, what's to gain from ratting me out? [And he gives a casual glance with eyes more ruthless than usual, that suggest it would be in his best interest to keep this conversation to himself.]

The satisfaction of seeing you fail, of course.

[He doesn't like the look in Jack's eyes. It unnerves him. But he's not going to get under someone's thumb again. If he lets that happen this easily, this early on, it'll be the Justinian all over again. And the Justinian was a long, long time ago.]

[He pulls his hand back and becomes more lighthearted, stroking some of his hair out of his face.]

Now, don't be like that. Maybe my ambitions don't seem noble to you, but the end result works out for everyone. See, when people used to talk about me, they talked about the heroic giant slayer. The kid with the magic beans. The enigmatic Jack Frost. This place has got more magic than it knows what to do with. Maybe I just want to relive the glory days.

[Archie was just about to respond--something about end results that he'll never remember now--but hold the phone.]

Jack Frost? Jack...of the beanstalk? You're saying you're that Jack?

And plenty more. I'm Jack of the Tales, the most popular Fable around. Period.

[And with his popularity, he cannot die. Well, not easily anyway.]

[He's not sure if the man is a lunatic, a liar, or...well, he do some pretty unusual things when Archie first met him.]

Where in the fables does it say you can break all your bones, snap them back into place, and continue as though nothing happened? And you claim you're from my world?

[You can't just make up stuff like this on a dime, now can you?]

Mundys. Mundys say that. Long story short, the homelands wasn't working out for us fables. Invasions and war tends to have that effect. Once we ended up in the mundy world - that'd be yours, we found out that everything we had done back in our world... had been spread as fairy tables, fables, and legends. Those of us who are really popular are harder to kill. Can't say I know why it works that way, but I don't look a day over twenty-five after five hundred years.

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