originaljackass | Ch. 2 - Legends are made when you're Jack of Fables

[Right now he's got his feet kicked up on a stack of all the various books he could find where he was in them. Collections of fairy tales, fables, and more colorful adaptions - all of them. The other day he raided the library and took all of them home. If people want to go off and read about him, they'll have to talk to the real thing first. After having spoken to some other people about their worlds and sharing his own identity when convenient, Jack has come to some conclusions about Luceti. Ones that requires a little more looking into.]

[Voice]

You people have legends in your world, right? Any of them true? Any of you ever met them? Or hell, maybe some of you are the legendary type too.

I'm one of the latter. I'm Jack of the Tales - at least, all the good ones. Any of you [losers] people heard of me?

Oh right, one more thing. Someone mind telling me how those filters work? Seems like it could be handy.

[Later, for anyone who wants to bother him in person, he'll be hanging out at the shops, wishing he had money to spend on all of it (even though it's all free). Luceti is a poor place to be for a man obsessed with wealth.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Think invite-only semi-camping birthday bash.

I take it I didn't make the guest list. Your birthday?

My birthday. [ she confirms with a smile that shows more rue than excitement. ] And it was a pretty small list. Two, if you count me. [ and she's not counting sparrow. ]

So the other would be Dawn, right? Sweet kid.

[ her face hardens. ]

Oh, that's the last thing I need. Please tell me her rejection was even more forceful than mine.

She said she wasn't interested. I respected her boundaries. Think what you want about me, but I know how to give women their space. [Just not as much space as they'd like.]

Atta girl. [ and despite certainly not trusting jack horner, buffy seems to relax. not making untoward comments about her sister is a definite plus. ] We haven't seen each other in a while; ergo, catch-up time.

Nothing like family time, especially among sisters. Are you close?

She's my little sister. Of course we're close.

[ she doesn't know horner well enough to give him the she's my everything speech. ]

My ex didn't get along too well with her sister. Shame that. [Only not really, because he and Red Rose had some fine, fine time and lots of fantastic sex. All because she was spiting Snow White.]

Being close and getting along are two different things. [ it sounds like it should be an argument but, really? it sounds like veiled sympathy for the ex in question. buffy is emotionally tender right now on the subject of siblings. the kind of tender that makes her want to make everyone else's sibling relationships work by proxy. it's a strange kind of superhero complex. ]

She slept with her sister's husband.

[It's then he suddenly has a horrible realization. Snow White was married to Prince Charming. Red Rose slept with him. Jack slept with Red Rose. His father is Prince Charming.]

... oh fucking hell! Goddammit!

[Literal facepalm. This realization couldn't be kept in.]

What? Did you leave your stove on or something?

[He scoffs.]

Just one of those sudden realizations about how much I really hate my family.

Oh. Uhm, I'm...sorry? [ a little taken off-guard by this change in tack. standing in the middle of the store with fluffy pillows under her arms, buffy can only tilt her head and give a slight shrug. ]

And this is -- what? Your ex's fault? [ trying to follow the narrative thread here. ]

[Pinching the bridge of his nose and a deep breath.]

Forget I said anything. Whatever. I'm never had a family that you'd call close. Just my mother.

It was just mom, me and Dawn for the longest time. [ said with a note of i get it. go go shiftless absentee father. ] But it's not about the how many, it's about the who.

My mother was dirt poor and gave me grief about buying magic beans, which just went to prove she didn't know a damn thing.

[In other words, Jack is very much of the opinion, "Family sucks."]

Well, to be fair? If what you claim is true and all -- she probably didn't have the lovely beanstalk story already there as precedent. Up until you, all bought magic beans were probably bogus.

[ maybe she's just being charitable with her conclusions now. but so long as horner isn't offending her delicate sensibilities she seems to be managing civility. ]

Wouldn't have hurt to show a little more faith in me, would it? Still, after I ditched home to become a giant slayer, that wasn't much of a problem anymore.

You had to leave to become a sl -- to slay?

After that first one with the beanstalk, I got a reputation. And hten it turned out I was damn good at it.

So you travelled the world looking for giants to kill. Charming.

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