Ch. 12 - Hollywood was just waiting for Jack of Fables

[originaljackass]

[Today, Jack Horner returned from his mission feeling rather smug. It was more work than it was worth, but Jack had returned with a set of DVDs for the Jack Tales. He may have lost every cent from the trilogy thanks to that bastard Beast from Fabletown, but he still had the movies and that was all that mattered. So after proudly bragging about them to Buffy at the bar, he plugs the first movie into her DVD player and then positions his journal to provide all of Luceti with a video stream of the first movie:

The Jack Tales I: Jack and the Beanstalk.
((ooc: the above link has info on the movie, a synopsis, and the cast of the movie. If you have questions, you can reply to that post.))

After the three hour movie is over, he turns the journal over to himself.]

That's part one of my life story. Pretty amazing, right? Of course, it was way better in real life, but Hollywood can only do so much. I'll wait 'til I show you the next one, though. Back home, people had to wait a whole year. But I think a month ought to do.

[For non-movie related shenanigans, Jack can be found at Good Spirits at 10PM after the movie is over, serving up drinks and doing general bartender-y type things.]

(OoC: The voice part is open for threadjacking! Feel free to have people talk about the movie to one another or what have you. Jack won't necessarily reply to everything!)

Comments

[originaljackass]

Jack laughed as he considered the implications of that. He'd never really encountered any other worlds where breast size was a key difference. Not until Luceti and some of its improbable women.

"I come from an immortal group of people where by the virtue of our popularity power, we're all uncannily attractive. Fair doesn't even begin to enter into it. Besides! There's probably some guys who like 'em small. They might have small hands or something."

[herotypical]

"And there are some guys who judge a gal not by the content of her cups but by the quality of her character."

[originaljackass]

"You can't quantify a personality, pumpkin. That's ridiculous."

[herotypical]

"...Are you looking to get slapped? Stop calling me that."

[originaljackass]

He shrugged. "Force of habit."

[herotypical]

"Force of habit my ass," she argued -- teetering on the edge of belligerent while buzzed on sweet wine and nothing in her stomach but popcorn. "You were gone. For...a long time. You didn't even remember having said habit when you were home. And now you just waltz back in and bam? Old habits don't die that hard, Jack."

[originaljackass]

Jack glanced at her with the slightest bit of reluctance in his eyes, though it was gone in a second as he turned back to the screen and smirked instead.

"I'd stop, but you make it too fun."

[herotypical]

Another day, she might have caught his reluctance. Not now, though. Not tonight.

"So you're saying that if I just ignore it, it'll go away? That hardly ever works."

[originaljackass]

"I don't think you have much of a choice."

[herotypical]

"I have other choices. You just haven't driven me to them. Yet."

[originaljackass]

"Now I won't be happy 'til I find out what they are."

[herotypical]

"Heaven help you should you learn. Appearances to the contrary, I'm not a nice a girl."

For a moment, she wondered whether she should have said that. Was she talking to much? Buffy shook her head and carefully perched her empty wine glass on the coffee table. "Come on, we'd better get you to work."

[originaljackass]

Eyebrows raised, he fixed her with a quizzical look. "Work? Wait, is this one of those 'come fix my plumbing because I'm lonely' things? Because I really don't know anything about plumbing."

[herotypical]

"At the bar, Jack. We'd better get you over to the bar. Get your mind out of the plumbing."

[originaljackass]

"Can't Ass run it?"

[herotypical]

"...Asch."

[originaljackass]

"Whatever. He can handle it, right?"

[herotypical]

"He's capable, if that's what your asking. Still doesn't mean he should have to work the evening rush all on his lonesome."

[originaljackass]

Jack sighed loudly and childishly. He stood up and it was as if his bones had decided to take a vacation because everything above the waist was drooping pathetically.

"Fine. But can't we at least close early tonight?"

[herotypical]

Her laughter only flirted with the edges of mirth.

"...Why? Got somewhere you'd rather be? Or have you conveniently forgotten the meaning of the word 'responsibility'?"

[originaljackass]

"I just showed the whole town my awesome movie, babe. Someone out there is gonna wanna tap this tonight. Feel free to call dibs, though."

[herotypical]

"Dibs? Puh-lease, even if I wasn't already an almost-maybe-married someone...well? Let's just say I know 'doomed' when I see it."

But damn her if she wasn't just a little attracted to doomed.

[originaljackass]

"It could be just one night. Our secret. I won't even brag about it."

[herotypical]

Her expression darkened with a strange mixture of anger and remorse. As if he was just now managing to try her patience.

"...I might be a lot of different nouns, but a cheater isn't one of them."

[originaljackass]

He shrugged, having expected nothing less. He opened the door to let themselves out.

"Figured. Worth a shot, though."